In the beginning, there was nothing. Someone suddenly became a wise guy and said, "Let there be light!" And light appeared and shone through the universe. And he saw that it was good.

Then suddenly someone exclaimed, "Let there be a cage!" And lo and behold a cage was bought from the pet store and put on a table that also miraculously appeared from nothingness. And he saw that it was good.

Then that same somebody exclaimed again, "Let there be straw bedding and wood shavings!" Once again the cage was nicely lined with straw and wood shavings. And he saw it was good.

Then the person said, "Let there be a wheel!" And a wheel was bought and put into cage. And he saw it was good.

"Let there be food and water!" And pellets and a bowl of water appeared. And he saw it was good.

"Let there be life!" And two hamsters, Addam and Evie, appeared and lived in the garden called Andden.

Addam and Evie lived happily in the garden coz food was always provided and there was peace and serenity through the land. But he warned the two, "Thou shalt not chew that sock yonder, for t'is the forbidden food!" One day, he wasn't around and the two darling little hamsters got hungry, as there was no food. He had forgotten to feed them. Then Evie took a nibble at the forbidden sock. Addam tentatively did the same. And finally they chewed a big hole in it.

When he came back, and saw his favourite sock chewed to pieces he got angry, and with his omniscience,he threw them out of the garden of Andden and into the back yard, now known as the world. "Thou hath disobeyed me. Its not my fault that I was late to feed thou that day. Now thou should be punished!" And the hamsters were banished from the cage of Andden into the back yard. They went forth into the world, and multiplied like hamsters.

Soon the world was then full of hamsters. One day they decided to build a tower that would reach high to reach him, so to return to the haven called Andden. The only resource they had was faeces as they had no opposable thumbs, so they crapped a big pile and it started to grow. They named it the Pile of Babel. He came out and saw this and said, "What a stinky pile of poo!" And with that he picked some hamsters up and brought them to a flea market, sold them and thus scattered them all over the world.

So one day, some rats caught some hamsters and made them their slaves to build pyramids to honour their kings. So there was this hamster, named Misces, who saw a burning bonfire, and took it as a sign to save the hamsters. So he gathered them, and told the King of Rats to free them or a plague would descend. The King refused, and the owner of the hamsters put down some rat poison. True enough plague struck the next day, and many a rat died, but no hamster died, because it was rat poison.

The King was awed, but he refused to do so, and then Misces told him that the sprinkler system would now spout blood instead of water. The King pooh-poohed at him. The next day, there was a shoot-out in the neighbourhood, and one shot man fell into the back yard, and blood sprouted out of his jugular vein. Thus it rained blood. The King was terrified. But he still didn't let the hamsters go.

Misces next predicted that all the first born would die, and the King got terrified. The owner of the hamsters was pissed that not all the rats were killed, bought a slingshot and with a well aimed shot hit the eldest son of the king in the rump. Needless to say, he didn't survive. Finally the King decided to let them go.

After all the hamsters left on their ham-xodus, the King sent their army after them. They chased the hamsters all the way to the swimming pool. It was dry as they needed to clean it. The hamsters jumped down and climbed up the other side. Then the rats gave chase. At that moment, a pool attendant turned on a tap and the swimming pool was flooded. All the army perished.

Since everyone is putting up a poem on their blog, I might as well do the same. In honour of Shakespeare.

William Shakespeare (1564-1616)

Sonnet XVIII: �'Shall I Compare Thee to a Summer�s Day?"

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate.
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date.
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimm'd;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance or nature's changing course untrimm'd;
But thy eternal summer shall not fade
Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st;
Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou grow'st:
So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.

Boarding is a wonderful experience. I tell you, that you have not yet lived until you have actually stayed in a boarding school. No boarding is not like what Enid Blyton wrote about in her children stories, its very much the opposite, it is constantly fun, intense and extremely good for your studies.

You see one of the good thing about boarding is your friends. They are always there around you. They support you through your entire stay in boarding. They are hanging around, in your room, talking, making noise, having fun. At all times, even when you want to sleep or do your work. See? There is no end to the company you have in boarding, unlike at home where you are bored out of your mind because of the peace and quiet and no one disturbs you or looks over your shoulder whenever you do something. Trust me, your friends will be running down the corridor screaming your name in the middle of the night while you are trying to get some sleep, and isn't it wonderful that you are never alone for your entire stay?

Another thing wonderful about boarding is your room mates. They can sit up and make noise all night through, or they could leave the light turned on all night long. These considerate people are who you are going to spend your next few years with. They bang their tables in anger and you will feel their pain. Not just today, but tomorrow and the day after it. That's how close you are gonna love your room mates. Also there would be ups and downs where your room mates feel cranky, so would you to. You learn how to deal with people, you learn how to sleep despite the light and sound, you learn how to simply ignore those. That's how boarding is beneficial for you.

How could we ever not mention the big guy who looks after you during your entire stay at boarding? He goes around and makes sure you are in the house, and make sure you have studied and of course make sure your music isn't blaring down the corridor disturbing those would are trying to sleep in the afternoon. Forget the ridiculous rules, what matters is the fact that they are enforced, all for YOUR benefit! Its not to make the lives of the boarding master easier, but to make yours a lot harder, but we mustn't forget, you are gonna get the best of things if you do what they tell you to do. How could I forget, you must do everything they tell you to. No its not like a Borg assimilation, but close. But its for your own good. No this is not propaganda, I am simply telling you what they told me.

Other things about boarding is that it takes up all of your time. You live there of course. In fact you cannot do certain things that normal teenagers do. You can't fake a sickness, get your parents to write a letter and rest the whole day. You cannot go out at night and play or fool around. But your friends are always with you. The good things you can do in boarding is the 3 S's; study, study and study. Of course there is sleep, but then again studying takes precedence. See? The other thing that you can do that is totally helpful is sleep! That's how productive your boarding life would be, so do come board.

I never mentioned anything about food. Don't believe anyone who tells you that boarding food is fit for pigs. Its not even close! Trust me, they serve you two constant meals a day, which hardly qualifies for food, its so scrumptcious and fresh that you would think it was last weeks food! And they make sure you are full after every meal. They serve so much plain rice that you feel treated like a king. And there is so much choice for food in boarding. Either you eat or you don't! However there are people who don't know how to appreciate this great and wonderful caterer that serves us left-overs that they are forced to go down to the food court nearby to eat! The food there is so simple compared to the exotic food that the dining hall serves us. That's why we are so big and healthy! Its not do to the instant noodles that we eat, but the care that the boarding staff gives us. Man, those that board are sure lucky, and I feel lucky, so if you wanna feel lucky, come board with the rest of us! Its an experience you would never forget!

Book-eating is a common practice in high schools. There is no fine art than the art and science of book eating. One may suspect that this practice may have reached so deeply into the roots of school that is has become a tradition for every student of that school to eat books.

First we must seek to understand why this practice is so prevalent in today's society. Book-eating is believed to be the only cure of the dreaded GCE 'O' level virus. In today's taboo society, we can see many students resorting to this final desperate measure to attempt to rid themselves of this deadly virus. What is the GCE 'O' level virus? It is merely a virus of ordinary proportions that infects every high school student just on the verge of graduating. There is no vaccine against it, and mortality rates are very high. Because of this, students eat books day and night trying to cram all the neccessary information into their minds in this final battle against good and evil.

There are many terms for the practice of book-eating. One of them is known popularly, colloquially as mugging. Normal plebians use this term because it is a much simpler word for their minds to absorb. Hence its to no surprise that these plebians are the one that worship the act of book-eating. We have just explained what is the startling phenomena of book-eating, and we know that some plebians are capable of eating no less than 9 books, and can regurgitate all of it at will.

Next we shall analyse how it is done. Book-eating is simply eating the book. One popular way is to sit in front of it all day all night, losing all forms of your humanity, losing your intelligence, sentience and powers of deduction. You will now gain enlightenment and join the rest as Eaters Of Books, or in the plebains words; a mugger. Another much simpler way of doing this book-eating is to burn the books in a fiery inferno and mix the ashes with water before drinking it all up. However we have reports that some of the plebians who do this still die from the GCE 'O' level virus and therefore this is not 100% guaranteed. Of course there is the eating the book raw, but we all like to cook our food before eating it right?

Now the benefits of book-eating is great. First you are now in the elite group of Eaters Of Books, an elite society that you can never leave. The Eaters Of Books are a very influential group of people in the society. We can see from the jobs that they would hold later. Also book-eating strips you of your humanity. There is a specific mantra that you must use, that is only known to members of this elitist group, but it goes along the line of eat as much books as you can. Now how would eating books strip you of your humanity? Where ordinary plebians study, Eaters Of Books have beforehand ate the neccessary syllabuses months before. Then after that, they must live a life of seclusion and cannot go out and play. Doing so would destroy all the books that they have eaten and they would therefore have to eat it all again.

We have also suspected that book-eating also drops your IQ. Many a book-eater we've tested panicked when we present them with an IQ test. One common phrase we hear is, "I haven't mugged yet!" They sit in shock in front of the paper and at the end of the test, they score quite well, the only ones they couldn't beat are the rocks in your garden. Eaters Of Books are very capable of holding many positions. Positions that involve a great deal of book eating that is. To our current count, there is no job that requires book-eating alone. Hence surviving Eaters Of Books are capable of diversifying their skills to the extent of eating accounts, invoices, and supermarket price tags. Truly this is a very unique class of society that exists with the sole purpose of eating books. Where would society be if not for these people? Without these people, there would be thinking people everywhere in society who can contribute new ideas which would result in huge advances in technology and constantly change the world. Yes, we must all sit back and acknowledge all these Eaters Of Books for making this world a better place to live in.

Lets talk about now.

Today, I had the liberty of hearing someone give a talk on the sufferings of children in third world countries that they are trying to help. So it is to no surprise that there is a slide show and there are pictures of sufferings that they use to obtain sympathy and attempt to make us feel grateful for our lives. There are pictures of children with bones sticking out from their skins at awkward angles. There are pictures of bodies wrapped in sacks and dumped on a truck unceremoniously. There are pictures of people scavenging the dump yards for a remains of a living.

I remember a picture I once saw, that was about a war, and the U.S. with their technological superiority decides to use napalm to get to the 'bad guys'. The napalm happened to go off in a populated area and there was this girl, whose clothes got burnt off by the fire and the sticky napalm clung to her skin and burnt her. There was another picture, I saw, of a nuclear victim of the atomic bombing in Hiroshima and Nagasaki. His mouth was burnt off and his teeth can be seen. The doctor slowly applied antiseptic and the patient did not wince in pain, his nerve endings were gone.

These are all pictures of a world that we are alien to. I guess its pointless trying to show us something we could see and feel, but never understand. I know they mean well, by trying to invoke a sense of pity in us, we would donate to their cause. Then again I feel that when you show pictures of this, like that little girl who was burnt by the napalm, I sit here, in my comfy chair, in front of my plate of instant noodles and wonder, who is that girl? Did you bother to find out or did you just take the picture to be sold off for money? I think at that moment, the girl must have been frantic and thinking why is no one helping her? What has she done to deserve this? We give the dead privacy by covering them as not to let the world to see. And at the same time, we publicize many photos of the sufferings of millions. They are not even in control of their lives anymore, are we going to strip them of their dignity?

Yes I do want to help these people, but I feel the futility of the situation. It just goes to show to me, you, the Creator, that we don't deserve a chance to live.

Why is it for every one genius there must be at least nineteen idiots?

Para Para Paradise.

The game that has revolutionized gaming, where consoles and gadgets are no longer needed but simply the waving of your hands around. This pseudo-dance machine has been the centre of attraction for many teen representatives, namely the ah liens and ah bengs and the all not too bright teen community. All this involves is a couple of coins and you are instantly transported into a world where you are the centre of attraction and everyone stares at you. While I was at an arcade, this was taken further until even the players had backup dancers, those mimicking the moves from behind. This is truly a spectacular game and should be carefully studied as to why it has become so popular with the teens.

Firstly, while talking to my correspondent, a certain Greek mythological character who flew too close to the sun, melted the wax on his wings and plunged to his doom in the sea, he claims that this happens to be a mating dance for todays society. No longer do we need social occasions and raves of the past, we just need a couple of machines placed strategically at a place where there are a lot of organisms, namely gaming arcades. Then those with a potential mate would approach this mating centres together and obtain a bunch of tokens. Then they would queue up and slowly wait their turn. If they are patient enough, other organisms have already performed the mating dance and maybe has successfully walked off with their willing mate, and the circle of life continues. If they fail, like they make a stumble during the mating dance to impress their mates, then everyone around would boo the poor creature silently in their hearts. The weak do not survive.

However there are certain methods of ensuring that your mating dance proves successful and you flawlessly wave your hands around like a drowing idiot. It simply involves buying the home version of the game, where all you need is a funny machine, a nice big TV, a Sony Playstation and finally some privacy, so that no one would suspect a person of having practiced the dances before. Hence when you go to these arcades, its simply to prove how well your psycho-motor skills are and you don't need to spend tokens doing something embarrasing in front of the world to see.

Now the success of this game can be clearly seen, that there is always some bimbo on the machine swinging her hands wildly and there is some himbo standing by looking and getting ready to impress back his mate by also being able to out perform his mate. This friendly competition would somehow somewhere lead to some closeness between the two and there a new relationship has blossomed. This is the whole point of the Para Para Paradise dance machines that you see in arcades. This is one of the few games that both sexes do play. So our society has now somewhat moved forward, yet at the same time managed to go back to the past, we have reverted to the use of mating dances, but this time now with high-tech gadgetery and bright flashing lights. There may be hope of the future after all.

Damn... its been a long time... almost two weeks. I think...

Anyway, there is something I must say now coz it has pissed me off many times during the long weekend. Its to do with Singapore's inherent myopia. I feel that this has now become a lifestyle disease because it seems to be affecting everyone, it is so rampant and for your information 80% of Singaporeans are myopic in one way or another. Now you must be thinking what do I mean in one way or another.

Seriously I've been going around Singapore and I've seen many times on the MRT people refusing to let other people sit and then they just close their eyes and pretend that they are all alone. Hey, its not self centred. They are morally correct. They are just short sighted. Myopic. BLIND! Let me spell it out for all those suckers out there. B - L - I - N - D!

You see I was sort of standing around this food court waiting for a place to sit. Yeah sure we all know, we must get a place to sit first because everyone likes to cram there and eat amongst total strangers in a humid environment that is totally cramp, hot and uncomfortable. I just didn't have dinner. So I was standing next to a table slowly waiting for some girls to get up, then comes along this mother b*tch who just approaches them and ask them whether she can put her stuff down there, marking her territory like some sort of animal and then never giving me a look in the eye. Sure this is fine, I said to myself. Then I heard that b*tch turn around and said to her son who was sitting at another table waiting for another bunch of people to get up. Seriously I can't believe that she didn't see me and she had to bully her way to get a table...

Now that wasn't my only encounter with the myopic citizens of Singapore. Then I moved off and spied this three bimbos who were done with their meal and were chatting away happily. I just stood there, and looked at them until they had the decency to move of and let me sit down... Hey that still wasn't the end of it. When I went to order my food, some other very very underqualified bimbo decided to sit in such a manner behind as to cramp my seat so much against the table it was hard to eat. Its not her fault she didn't see that, she was myopic. Then there was this other old hag who sort of leaned against my mom while we were eating, and pushing her. First I said, "Excuse me", but it wasn't loud enough. So I repeated myself. That hag wasn't just myopic and insensitive but also deaf. So I coughed really loudly, but I wasn't even sure whether she heard me because she went of in search of a table to sit down at.

So here ends my little encounter of the myopic kind. Its almost sickening that you cannot even see your neighbours but you are quick to judge. I'm pretty sure this doesn't just apply to a single nation but maybe to the world. People can't even see the results of their actions to their neighbours so who gives a damn? Its all for yourself. This is a good theory why majority of the populace are now myopic. I hope someone would follow up with this study.