Thoughts of an evil man

Are men born evil, or did they just become evil along the way? We tend to think so. All men are born without a name. After all, a truly evil person is a person who chooses to be evil on his own free will.

This person is trying to figure out, since when has he become an evil person. It wasn't a sudden life-changing moment, or a surge of feeling of malice towards the world. It wasn't overnight, it was gradual, very gradual, from as far back as he could remember. A voice, his own voice, inside his head, he keeps having thoughts, evil thoughts. He thinks of evil deeds often enough, not so that he would do it, but rather, just because he thinks to understand evil. It isn't being seduced by the dark side, but it is thinking about it so often, it flashes through the mind, that evil deeds virtually happen inside his head that he somehow loses himself.

If you think evil thoughts, does that make you evil? If you think of death, does it make you want to die? But think evil, and you become evil, even if you don't want it. How does someone just become evil?

This person feels it, he feels his actions changing to hurt others, he sharpens his words to maximise pain, he thinks only for himself, he starts having hidden intentions, his heart is one of shadows and he is unable to find something good and noble about himself.

Its rather like growing up, suddenly one day, it controls you, and you don't know what the hell happened.

He looks back and he's not proud of anything he's done. He has never given others cause to love him, his smile hides his knives and his outstretched palm serves to cause hurt. He doesn't know when he became evil, the choice was made so long ago, and the path to redemption is lost forever.