Dear God,

Hi! I never actually prayed to you because I simply find it hard to believe in you. Its not that I was lured or tempted by the devil, but because I feel that you simply can't exist as made up by your devoted followers. Simply you are too great to exist, too powerful, and too omniscient. Therefore it is needless for you to create me. Yes, I am questioning the creation of me, the agnostic cynic. Perhaps it has to do with my upbringing, but please don't blame my parents. You can't exist because if you did, our existence itself is brought into question, and if our existence is not justified, who is there to believe in you?

You see, if life is a test for us, are we some sort of product that is undergoing rigorous testing before being sold out to whoever your buyer is? Because our reason for existence, according to you does not make sense. I don't think people deserve to go to hell for not believing in you. I also believe that people should go to hell even if they believe in you. Some things just happen and there is nothing you can do about it. Our lives are not even in our own hands, so by what criteria can you judge us? How can we be trusted to do the right thing when the circumstances do not dictate so? Would I be condemned if I stole food because I haven't eaten for days? By the law of Man, I would. By the law of God, I would. Faith does not fill an empty stomach, and common sense, which you have kindly bestowed upon us, tells us that self-survival comes first. So its another contradiction and I am stumped by how easily we are condemned and I prefer to go to hell and join the disbelievers if all it takes to go to heaven is believe. Truly sounds like a cheap ploy to me.

By the way, if you did exist and if you happen to be reading this, due to your omniscience, the world is screwed up right now. How did Bush become president?? Why did Elvis die?? Why is the world round?? What is the meaning of life?? Could it be, as I try not to quote from the Bible, Man was created in God's image, so does this mean we are god-like? Its probably blasphemy to think so, but blasphemy is such an abstract term. We now have the power to create life through cloning, so have we ascended to become gods? The more I think of it, this makes your role more obsolete... so you can't exist can you?

The Vatican would probably smite me for this blog, but if I could make a few comments about the Bible, its all good and well wanting people to go up to heaven and love and be loved, but if you want your existence to be forced down my throat, I shall simply vomit it right back out. I prefer to believe in a deity with no force of threat like going to hell, rather than compromise on my right to choose my beliefs. There I said my piece... so please don't send any Christians or angels after me if you mean well. I can't stand some Christians... those Christians that I know are probably dumb bimbos who don't give further thought into your existence than the Bible. I already have a tarnished image in mind of Christianity, so it would be weak willed of me if I were to convert to Christianity.

Yours sincerely,

P.S. Please while you are managing the world, please please please smite the terrorists and Bush while you are at it, they both deserve it many many times over. Thanks.

P.P.S. If you exist, that is.

I enjoy looking around for laptops as much as the next guy. There is a certain sense of joy and euphoria, like a women, going out and flashing her new credit card and buying the whole store, knowing that her husband will have to bear the cruel brunt of reality when the bill sinks home. Okay, maybe not, but I do enjoy looking at laptops, hey it was pretty impressive walking around the mall that day, one laptop could impressively screen four movies and the next store there was this other laptop that could impressively screen six movies at the same time.

To all those computer illiterate out there, what is so impressive about this is that firstly, the raw computing and video power to do that is very much impressive and would not have been dreamt of even two years ago. Secondly, we are now entering the era where we can save time, money and resources by screen six movies at once. Who needs to fight over the remote now that you can show six, seven, eight, even twelve different shows on the futuristic television which now happens to be your laptop? Ah, such bliss.

Also there are so many to look at and so many to consider. As I walked around the mall that day, my mind was in a spin. Woah, processors up to 1.13Ghz for a laptop is astounding considering my desktop runs a measly 500Mhz... Sigh... Anyway, the day has already come that notebooks are now more powerful that my desktop. Obsoletion is like a drug, its good for you in the short term, having the best laptop, but then the next moment, you are stuck with it for at least a year trying to save up for the next one. Then again you can resort to a life of crime, but that's a whole different matter.

What I look for in a laptop is pretty much the same in a desktop, except that weight really matters a lot. I do some travelling and take it from me, its not nice having to stand in a long queue with a bulky 3.5kg piece of machinery slung by your side, because you are too scared to put it down for a moment in case it got stolen. So I guess, mobility makes a laptop more worth it. I mean, if you get the chance to whip out your latest Acer or Dell during a break of a meeting and start fragging away on CounterStrike over your company's LAN, that would really impress the boss... =)

Well I can only dream... so any generous soul out there would like to donate a notebook with nVidia GeForce 2 32mb to a starving gamer???

Oh enough of the World Trade Centre already, its so like the media to hype it up, and its so like America to think they are the centre of the world, which I would like to tell them, America is not the centre of the world, and the rest of us can pretty much carry on living if life comes to a standstill over there. Oh yeah, if you now know that America is not the centre of the universe, don't kill yourself, just, okay on second thought kill yourself and make the world a better place. Maybe Iraq was right, in a way America does deserve it.

You live, you die, somewhere along the line you eat a pile of crap. There that is a happy normal life. It puzzles me why some people want to be normal, and others want to stand out from the crowd. I hate this world. There is no better way to put it. Why? Simple, its full of idiots. Do I hear anyone protest? No I don't, so therefore everyone in the world is an idiot, but they happen to live in a self-delusional world that they are intelligent beings. Hah, my ass, you can go and dunk your head in a barrel of piss and say you are intelligent. Sure sure sure maybe you say you are intelligent, humans have invented the motor car. What the f*&k? I don't think you invented the motor car so go to h*ll and drown yourself in piss knowing that you are not intelligent AT ALL. Period. Still want to argue? Go drown yourself.

Another reason why I hate this world is that people tend to have prejudices. If you are a Chinese, you are a miser, if you are a Malay you are an idiot, if you are an Indian, you stink, if you are an African, boo hoo hoo... if you are French, ditto for the Indians, if you are British you are snobs, if you are Russian, you are a communist, if you are from Middle East, you are a terrorist... The list goes on and on and on about stereotyping people... I wish that you all would grow up some day, see the light, know that you are not the toilet hole in which sh&t swirls around and go kill yourself. I HATE THE WORLD SO F*&K YOU.

Its been a long time. There has been many things on mind. Certainly the World Trade Centre "bombing" is one of them. My negligence towards my blog has made me have second doubts whether I should keep this going. But then again, I have thoughts I wish to share.

As I sit back and wonder at the sanctuary of my own haven, I wonder how safe am I? Would some suicide bomber come rushing into my front door? Or would a mad man drive a tanker full of petrol up my front gate? And then any sane person who ask me, who would want to do that? I am but a humble blogger, so what words of mine hath sparked that much fire in thine heart? In a way, there is much truth in that, to be a victim, first you must be a target.

The terrorists are as much to blame for the death of innocents, I don't mind it crashing into the White House though. I think the actions and words of the "most powerful man in the world" do carry reverberations as far as the four corners of the word, and bring on much more than what he actually means. Personally I think Bush is an idiot, but I am now keeping a close eye on current affairs to see how far my judgement is justified. How can someone go around promising war on terrorists and going to extreme measures to make sure America is no longer attacked? How would that stop attacks? After any war, America would be lulled into a false sense of security, and be hit again, maybe by synchronised attacks all over America, hitting symbols native to America.

Nostradamus predicted something about "Two great brothers fell in chaos in the new city. The Great Third War follows shortly after." People want to think the two towers of the World Trade Centre is predicted and World War III is upon is. I thought of humanity better as not to go into such senseless massacres. We'll see how far Bush will now go as to make sure America is safe again. Starting another war is not a solution, America would undoubtedly emerge victor, if there is such a thing as victory is wars. What remains to be seen is how much everyone else suffers.

There have been talks on assassination of key terrorists figures. I guess this is a solution, but this also reinforces the fact that the terrorists have nothing left to lose, not even their lives. Think how desperate, or fanatic they must have been that they are willing to throw away their lives just to topple America. They stand to gain nothing, only America stands to lose. So what has America done to them that they hate America so much?

America tends to champion democracy and capitalism, two things that we must not forget was the cause behind the Cold War. So when a poor man in the Middle East has no money, no job, no shelter, no food, no belongings and no life, he needs someone to blame, that someone can be the managing director of the last company who didn't hire him, or the government for not providing enough aid, or even God for not giving him a chance. In this case, the terrorists blamed the "democratic, capitalist west". And there is a manifestation of this "democratic, capitalist west", which shows up and makes a big show on how they champion these policies. As I said before to become a victim, first you must be a target. And America thinks so highly of herself that she stands up and "champions" these beliefs, and challenges anyone to do anything about it.

Take a step back and look at the situation again. How would America overcome this problem? Would she go into a war to save face? Would she cower behind her missle defense program? Would she impose sanctions on countries harbouring terrorists? I have to ask America these questions; "How do you fight an enemy who you cannot see? How do you fight an enemy that cares nothing for itself?"

Somewhat I am truly touched by the fact that the world has united in times of crisis. It gives me hope that the world doesn't deserve to end in a nuclear war. Then again when I hear about the harsh retaliations against the Arabian-Muslim community in America, I would like to ask those idiots out there one question; "Do you seriously think they had anything to do with the bombing?" There is this mentality in America, that is, there is the Americans (Caucasians only) and everyone else. Any attack on them is because they reason that they, the Americans, are superior, and there is envy against them. So they decide that they must do something, no matter how stupid. I guess those people have become no better than the terrorists that they seek to purge. Maybe worse, because what they did was out of sheer ignorance and stupidity, sins we cannot forgive because they should know better.

Truly I know someone out there already did this, somewhere, somehow, sometime, but I have to do this.

I've just clicked on a link that advertises Mariah Carey, and truly it disturbs me. It claims that Mariah Carey is the most successful pop-star and sits amongst The Beatles and Elvis Presley. Okay I have to give her credit for that, but I wonder how she got there in the first place.

So I have come to a conclusion that your success only depends on the surface area of the clothes you wear, therefore we can see this by tracing the success of Mariah Carey since her song "Butterfly". There she wore a dress. Yes Mariah Carey did wear clothes that covered her mid-rift. Then came along HeartBreaker, I think, where she wore this skimpy top BUT she had jeans! Then next she had that song, "Lover Boy" which bared even more. And when I look at the cover for Glitter, I wonder how far is the peak of success if it is measured in clothes dropping?

I wish I was blind

I wish I was blind,
So that I cannot see,
The cruelty in this world,
Brought upon by you and me.

Despite this blessed gift of sight,
We can still turn a blind eye,
To the suffering of third world countries,
And sit back and watch them die.

And yet let us lot look too far away,
Upon our neighbours we're cold and distant,
Fenced in by claims of privacy,
Behind high walls we make ourselves scant.

What is the point of living,
If we do not think with our mind,
What is the use of eyes,
If we are all so blind?