Conversations With Self

Thursday, December 26, 2002

This is going to be something of an annual report of my year, 2002.

Warning! The following post is extremely long and boring.

I would like to start with a short foreword that whatever I am going to say that may and would offend some people and though I would try not to mention names as far as possible, I encourage those not to read this closely. In fact don't read this at all. This is just for record so that my memories, no matter how bitter would not be forgotten.

The year started out with me returning to Singapore to further my studies. It is not the best of situations, and I am far from pleased with where I have ended up. Given the choice I would have left Singapore, and today, if I had the choice again, I still would leave Singapore despite the good things that have happened so far. The year opened up with starting in a new school which I never foresaw I would go. Disappointment is the catchphrase here. And anger. But then I resolved not to sweat about it, and I recall my exact words was, "To be as open as possible, as enthu as possible and have as much fun as possible without worrying about myself." So that's how my year began. I began by being as loud as possible and tried to meet as many new people as possible in my new boarding school. Though many may disagree about my actions, I have no regrets. It would be a lot easier for me to hide in my room and not embarrass myself. I might as well regret meeting the people I've met.

Notably the first bunch of friends I had was those who were in my new school, as we were all in the orientation group. It was fun and enthusiastic. I got to know people I never would make an effort to know, I was participating, encouraging and a part of a bunch of strangers who barely knew each other. Somehow, there is only one of them I keep in touch with regularly enough. The rest have drifted off into the background to become part of the sea of grey. Though this is sad, there are no regrets, I knew them and I had fun with them, but we aren't destined to walk the same road.

Another thing was other people I've met who has stayed with me for the first year. I remember clearly the starting of the tradition of throwing people into the pond on their birthday. It was a good beginning to a cheerful and wet year. There were lots of algae, lots of splashes, lots of noise, we are only lucky we never got caught nor had any accidents happened. There is a whole bunch of people I've met whom I am really close to today. I only can wonder how long such relationships can last. Would it be over once I leave?

In the first term, the first thing to look forward to was going back home for Chinese New Year no matter how short it was. It was only three days, but it provided a brief respite for me to escape school. It was definitely something to look forward to. During this brief trip back, I get to meet some old friends who was about to embark on their journey of tertiary education to Australia. One of the angst I have is that everyone I knew is either going to Australia, New Zealand or Kuala Lumpur. Only one sole idiot in my old class would go to Singapore, and it has been a lonely trip so far. So I said more than my last goodbyes, and there it was, the next time I returned to Malaysia, there were no more friends to see. Everyone has left the nest.

However things were not all that bleak during the first term. An old friend who left for Australia two years ago came to Singapore and visited me during the last week of the term. "Visited me" is a very loosely used phrase here. He had other purpose for his trip, but being a good friend and all, it was good, and it provided comfort in a totally new and alien place. Though I have been to Singapore for 2 years already, I was in a new school with new people, in a new hostel. So that concludes my first quarter of the year, where I went back to Malaysia for a short holiday.

The second quarter of the year wasn't so bad, except that my time was filled up with a certain issue called International Games Day. It was a bitch. Organised by a bitch. I was merely a pawn with loads of expectations and work piled upon me. And furthermore it was against my will. There was no way I could say no to my scholarships officer. And thus grew my distaste for paperwork, bureaucracy and any organisational form of work. My day would end late about 10 pm sometimes, I had to skip dinner occassionally and all I got for my pains was nothing but a sense of relief when it was all over. There was no sense of satisfaction nor pride. It was a job that needed to be done, and it was performed with much grudge.

Above that, there were a few other things that I had to organise, and though it wasn't as bad as the International Games Day, it simply meant I had to take charge of something. I would not like to say I had leadership skills. I simply did what I could and did what needed to be done. With a lot of help, certain dances were organised and performed. It was not pleasant, and I was relieved to see the end of organising anything. I relinquished whatever leadership position that was in store for me. It was not because I was arrogant or snobbish, but rather because I was sick and tired. Sick and tired of having to convince people to listen. It made no sense why I had to do it, and if the dance itself was its own reward, yeah right.

However the term opened up with another orientation day which totally killed my interest to study. I was all geared up to study and then there came this useless week where I had to do nothing but play games to make other people fit in. Well it was a bust, I wasn't all that prepared to have fun. Well it was pseudo-fun, and it would not all be that enjoyable considering that the first major exams were coming up in the third quarter. So that was it for the third term. I guess I really have to thank my seniors for all the encouragement that they have given me through this trying term. Thank you.

The mid-year holiday passed unevently.

Then the third term was all about the common tests, our first major exams. People did disappointingly and my results weren't all too good. It was because of too much playing during the first six months. But other than that, it was a wake up call to start studying. This quarter, I was also graced with the First Coming of a friend, as so he termed to call it. He came back from America, and we had many chances to meet up talk and catch up a bit. I await somewhat the Second Coming. The third term was somewhat relaxed as I, myself, tried not to involve myself in anything that required commitment, which was just about everything. However the year-end major exams were coming up and I had not much time to prepare. Truthfully there were a lot of frustration prior to that, and though I was suppose to be serious and all, it was slack.

Intermitten during this time was a lot of pain and anguish. I shall not elaborate painful memories. But this serves as a private personal reminder.

The fourth quarter was the important one, where the first half dealt with the major exams. It was all studies. Nothing more needed to be said. Though I didn't work hard enough, I got good results. There is this guilt that I did not do enough. The second half, everything learnt during the year was forgotten. Lessons became slack and though I was suppose to go for the Physics Olympiad, my disappointment was there because of certain quotas. I am pissed off. This is unforgivable. Anyway, then there is next a lot of having fun and fooling around. I was then suppose to start working on my school magazine. Though it wasn't exactly finished when I left Singapore, I did put in a lot of effort from going to school 4 days of 5 during the school week and trying to complete it. And this time because it was by my own choice, I had a sense of satisfaction.

During the holidays I made my way up to Kuala Lumpur. The trip itself was uneventful. I discovered in Kuala Lumpur there itself is limited things to do, limited placed to go and finally things aren't that great when you don't know how to drive around Kuala Lumpur. Though I blew a lot of money there, it was a good enough short trip. Enough time to celebrate a friend's birthday. In fact the first birthday I ever celebrated without throwing someone into the pond. There are many stories of people getting thrown into the pond. This time we just lacked the pond.

Upon arrival back home, I am reminded why home is the best place to be. It is a sheltered place, where one cannot get hurt, one can hide from life's problems and one can ignore the world outside. Though my old friend from Australia is back, we did stuff together, involving lots of fuel wasted on pointless car rides all the way up to Sejingkat, Rurouni Kenshin and a lot of crap. I feel that I am not that close to anyone else back home other than this guy and another girl. So I only made it a point to go out with them. Today, well today is my last day here in Malaysia before I go back to Singapore. I have no chance to update this blog before I go back because I have no Internet access there. All I can say now is that this year is concluded. And though a lot of things have happened, and though I tried not to regret a lot of things, there are still regrets.

This year has brought about tremendous change, and I guess it serves as both a model and a warning for my life next year. I did set out this year to have as much fun as I could. Well next year, I do resolve to study as hard as I can. And also become emotionless. Somehow, I just want to focus on one thing. To get out of here.

Tuesday, December 24, 2002

Jim is a guy who enjoyed Christmas. He was into the mood of giving and spreading joy into the lives of other people. He especially loved giving gifts to people, and spent lots of time looking for something special for each special person. Well people around him loved him for his caring nature, and his inclination to please people with gifts. This time, Jim wanted to find something really special for his girlfriend Sally. Sally was the most important person to him and he really wanted her to be happy. He searched the stores for the perfect gift. He tried thinking of ideas to make handmade gifts. He scoured antique shops, flea markets and garage sales to look for something special for his specal someone. Finally he hit upon the greatest idea for the perfect gift.

That Christmas Eve night, he and Sally was sitting together on the couch snuggling close to each other. The fire was burning in the fireplace, giving out a warm loving atmosphere. And there was the Christmas tree, which Jim and Sally had spent hours decorating together this afternoon. The clock on the mantelpiece above the fireplace slowly ticked towards Christmas. Finally it was midnight. Jim looked into Sally's eyes and without a word they kissed. Then Sally reached behind the couch and said to Jim, "Here is what I got you for Christmas!" She pulled out a golden wrapped package and gave it to Jim. Jim was speechless as he opened it. It was a brown woollen sweater. His eyes filled with tears; Jim was the sentimental sort. He hugged Sally and thanked her. "Now it is my time to give you my gift," he said, "This is straight from my heart."

With that, he reached into his chest, through his ribcage, and pulled out his still beating heart.

"Merry Christmas."

Sunday, December 22, 2002

Yesterday was a day that was unlike any other. It started out fine, considering the fact I didn't sleep. My huge 200 mb download from the Net just finished, so I'm pretty happy about that. Just that my parents needed to make a trip out somewhere at 6 in the morning. The sun hasn't risen yet by the time we left the house. It was pretty cool sitting at the back of the car quietly with the windows down and the cold morning wind freezing all the muscles in my face. The greatest part was that when I looked out the window on my left, I could see the semi-full moon. It was full moon the day before, but it doesn't matter. Not much of a difference to me. And I looked and wished, and the moon looked back, and it was 6:30am in the morning.

When I looked out the window on my right, I the light blue sky with a tinge of mauve where the blend of orange sunlight met the sky. It was something I've never seen before, the moon meeting the sunrise. It was like a dreamscape. And the cold wind was still in my face, it was a wonderful feeling. Then somewhere in my head, played the song, Life Is Beautiful. And somewhere, my dad turned, and we sped off towards the burst of a new day. And if that car ride would just go on forever, on the road that leads to nowhere, time froze in that moment, the moon waved goodbye and the sun waved hello at the same moment. Only if that could stay that way forever...

And one day, I'm gonna do this again, in a convertible driving off into the sunrise.

Friday, December 20, 2002

Jasmines bloom at dawn,
Heavenly scent filled the air,
Tea brewed from sweet dew.

Thursday, December 19, 2002

I sped around the bend at 70km/h. I turned hard, and my car barely made it as I swerved onto the next lane. But thankfully there was no car on the other lane. It didn't matter how many road rules I broke. I was late, and your plane would be landing in 5 minutes. Without hesitation, I pushed to fifth gear and accelerated away. I watched the speedometer climb to 90km/h then 95km/h, when suddenly I had to brake hard for the traffic light. The momentum jerked me back to my seat. I impatiently drummed my fingers on the steering wheel while waiting for the light to turn green.

My vision turned to you stepping down the plane onto the black tarmac looking around. You walk slowly towards the terminal gate, eyes sweeping the crowd for a sign of a familiar face. You walk towards the side, wondering what to do. You think that I must be late. You think I broke my promise. You think I am unreliable. Then the clock ticks by and I still don't show up. And you wonder where I am... Somehow I have failed you.

And the light turns green and I speed off towards the airport at a breakneck speed. I left all the other cars trailing behind. And soon the airport was in sight. I zoomed into the nearest parking spot and jumped out of the car. I ran towards the terminal gate. There was a large crowd gathered around, also waiting for their love ones. I pushed my way to the front, and stared at the television there. The word "Landed" flashed repeatedly there. I tried to look for your face amongst the people milling out. Then suddenly I caught sight of you. I waved to you but you didn't see me. I pushed forward to greet you, when suddenly a tall man cut right in front of me and called to you. You turned to see him, but without a flicker of recognition.

"Are you...?" He asked. You nod.

"I'm sorry to tell you that Jason cannot make it." He said.

I tried to grab his shoulder, but I was pushed back by the crowd. Who are you, I shouted at him. Why the hell are you saying that? Look I'm here. He took you by the hand and brought you to a car. I tried to follow but there were too many people. Instead I ran to my car and dashed off after you. Then I followed closely, trying to wave to you, and get your attention, but the man was driving very fast. I noticed in a distance there was a traffic jam on the other side of the road. Suddenly the man braked and I had to brake hard too to avoid rear-ending you. He walked out of the car and escorted you to the other side. I realised an accident had occured there.

I walked closer, and suddenly I was hit by this cruciating headache. The car looked mangled. It had apparently went past the bend too fast, the wheels couldn't grip the road enough and it swung off the road and straight into the tree. The car. Somewhere a voice in the back of my head corrected me; my car. I walked forward and saw the body lying on the road. Again a voice corrected me; my body.

And it struck me there and then I was dead. Dead, as in stone cold on the road, bleeding and cut up like a piece of raw meat on the road. And I was dead. And you look blankly at me. And you turn away. I dragged my feet up to you. It was strange, having no feeling over my legs. Then I looked at you, and you seem to look back at me as though I was there, although my body was shattered on the road. I raised my left hand slowly to touch your cheek and rested it gently against your face. And I wondered if you knew I was there or if you felt my touch, you raised your hand and seem to hold mine against your face. And suddenly I was wrenched back with a strong force, as though pulled back into a dark hole. As I screamed your name, I could see a tear falling down your cheek...

And it all went black forever...

Wednesday, December 18, 2002

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No joke, my computer typed all this out by itself. I think its intercepting some messages from somewhere and it appears out here...

Tuesday, December 17, 2002

Should I tell a story? Maybe I shall.

Once upon a time there was a remote village nestled at the foot of two hills, encroached by a dense jungle. The people of the village were a simple and honest sort, their kind not yet tainted by the fumes of technology, nor corrupted by the lies of media. They lived together in this village, which was surrounded by 8 feet high wall of bamboo poles, to protect them from the wild tigers that prowl around outside. Yet, despite their savage surroundings, within the village, there were 36 families, and they totalled a population of 109 people, of which there were 31 children.

Now although they lived in a dangerous place where tigers roamed the outside, the bamboo walls held the people together closer than before. Within the village, there were 37 huts, 36 for each one of the family, and the 37th was kept as a general storeroom for food. The huts were made out of thin bamboo and thatched with large brown leaves gathered from the forest. None of the huts had a door, there was no need for it. The bamboo walls kept out the animals, and a closed door would only keep out friends. Everyone knew each of the 109 names and it was hard for them to look out their window without being greeted with a smile and a wave. During the day, the men would hunt for food while the women would forage for food. The children would be looked after by the elderly and taught to do simple things like sew and repair things around the village. Life was simple, harmonic and content within the bamboo walls.

Every night, everyone would gather at the centre of the village and they would have dinner together around a big fire. The children would listen in awe of the men's hunting tales, while the women gossiped amongst themselves. The elderly would be content in smoking amongst themselves. Everyone would just have fun around the fire, be it dancing, playing drums, talking or just enjoying each others company. It was a simple lifestyle that would not bring envy in those who enjoyed the modern conveniences. And it was such every day, and they always enjoyed such nights, as it was all they have; each other.

Then one night, it all changed. When the village was gathered around campfire, a solitary hooded figure in a flowing robe walked up to the gates and knocked.

"Hello? Could you spare a hungry traveller food and board for the night?" the solitary hooded figure called from over the gate. The village was excited over the prospect of having a visitor. It has been ages since anyone ventured to their village. They hurriedly ushered the person to the centre of the village and brought the person a large piece of roasted deer leg and water in a wooden bowl. The person hungrily attacked the meat and gulped the water down while the entire village watched enraptured. When the person was done with his meal, the village impatiently asked him who he was, and what was he here for.

The person threw back his hood to reveal an old face which was unshaved for many weeks. His eyes were sunken into his sockets as he had not eaten for days, and his cheekbones protruded out in an awkward fashion. His hair was thinning and silver, and there were tufts of hair from his ears. He closed his eyes momentarily for a brief respite as though to savour the generousity of the village. Then his eyes opened, and the flames reflected the deep wells of wisdom. And he spoke slowly and softly.

"I am a storyteller. I carry with me stories from lands afar, to share it with you. And I hope you would share your stories with me. Then I would carry them to the ears of many an eager listener elsewhere in the world so that these words would continue to live in the hearts and souls of men. And that is my story..."

It takes approximately 20 hours to reinstall everything on my computer including hunting down, and downloading the programs I needed. This does not include the 2 hours required just to install Windows XP. And if you stayed online for 7 straight days, you can download 1 gigabytes of mp3s. I just lost 1 gigabyte of mp3s. All I could recover was 300 mb, and hardly any of my programs. My files just clock over 1 gigabyte. Its an underperformance for my insane downloading habits... Now I just need to recover some mpeg files I lost. And those are a bitch to download over the Internet.

Monday, December 16, 2002

bush
noun plural ~es
1. a small shrub ~es surrounded the outskirts of the forests and had to be cleared
2. US an idiot of mythical proportions who makes many common linguistic and rational mistakes and gets voted into presidential office by some stroke of luckThat guy is like a ~ Usu. derogatory
3. US a person who enjoys declaring war on Iraq, particularly Saddam Hussien
verb
1. acronym for Beat Up Saddam Hussien (B.U.S.H) America should ~ because he is responsible for the violence in the Middle East
adj.
1. sl. tired i'm ~ed
2. describes a person who blew up the Middle East, declared war on terrorism, and forms a global coalition of one to fight terrorism and Saddam Hussien I'm ~

Hmmm... things are pretty quiet... since the defeat of Lord Archimonde. =) Never mind. I just have no crap to put up here other than I am utterly bored, there's nothing to do and life isn't really worth living now that there is nothing really to look forward to.

What happens when you have a splitting headache, you have nothing to look forward to when you wake up, you just don't want to get out of bed, and there is no urge or willingness to live. Does this happen often? The urge to end your own life because there is just a feeling at the moment to end it? Its almost like this mental mood to just become really destructive, and there is no real reason behind killing yourself. There are a lot of things not worth it at the moment. Life is one of those things.

Yeah. That's it for now. Perhaps forever.

Saturday, December 14, 2002

Since the death of Napster, I've been searching for other file sharing programs. First of all was Morpheus, but there was a problem. Half the times it would not connect, and downloads would be slow. Then I tried out LimeWire, but that one seemed to screw up Internet Explorer by making it hang and stuff. Then I tried Shareaza. This one was a disappointment. It didn't find anything I was looking for, though on the same Gnutella network, and I had very little control over what's going on. Then I tried XoloX. It didn't have enough buttons and options for me to try anything. This utterly sucks.

Thursday, December 12, 2002

This is ridiculous. Sleeping at 1 a.m. and waking up two hours later. How screwed up is my biological clock?

But today something great happened. I crushed the Demon Lord Archimonde with my tactical finesse and strategic prowess. With uncanny hindsight, my legions of huntresses charged to meet the Scourge and while my archers rained arrows from the sky. Ancients awaken to fight the meet each deadly wave of ghastly abominations and meatwagons, while druids traded blows of crypt fiends. And when the odds were overwhelming, the stars fell from the sky and eradicated Azgalor and Rage Winterchill. Infernals and doomguards pushed back the resistance, but again and again my armies rise amidst the bloodshed. Finally after 5 real-time hours of bitter struggle and languishing defeats, I emerge triumphant over the bodies fo the fallen, besting Archimonde and the Burning Legion.

I have finally completed WarCraft III.

Hard mode.

Wednesday, December 11, 2002

Smoking!!

Err... way not cool. Smoking isn't cool. It just pisses me off. Because firstly I don't smoke, and the smell is nothing short of irritating. Secondly, it is so insensitive of the person who denies my right to breath fresh clean air. Not that the air around me is clean at the moment, there is a strong odour of durians in the air around here. But I digress. Its just that the air is bad enough already, and people must make it worse by smoking, especially in public places, e.g. bars, pubs, kopitiams, markets and malls. Its really irritating especially when you are eating or drinking and cannot escape the tendrils of smoke drifting across your face. Luckily I never met anyone who blew smoke into my face.

That day, I went out with my sister and a few of her friends, and there was this really hot chick there. She looked good. But again I digress. Thing was, she was a smoker, and she smoked (in the words of my sister) with style if there was such a thing as smoking with style. Well okay she looked good, and she looked good smoking. But thing was, well it would be a lot nicer if she didn't smoke. A lot easier to talk to rather than sucking smoke with each breath I take. And when she smoked she blew smoke upwards above her head instead of to the side, instead of straight at my face. I thought it was funny. Hardly seen anyone smoke like that. But well, she was considerate enough to think of my lungs, so its not too bad to have smokers like that. But I rather smokers don't smoke around me. That's for that about smoking.

Tuesday, December 10, 2002

How many times must I retype my same blog?!?!? Damn you unstable Internet connection!

Monday, December 09, 2002

There's nothing better than a long car ride with a good asshole sitting by my side. I guess someday this asshole will read it, so heck, here's what I think about it. The only thing that could be better than driving down a long road with no destination in mind with a good friend by my side, is driving down a long road with no destination in mind with a girl I like by my side. =) Hey asshole, you've said worse about me before.

It was a long ride, and conversation was good. It was endless crap that just went on and on, and I wish I could do that for a long time, without worrying about the stupid petrol gauge or what time it was. Anything is very fun, even sitting in a torture chamber as long as there is good company. Yeah, nothing to rant about this time, so just would like to say I had a good time driving around and basically doing nothing.

Sunday, December 08, 2002

Okay, I have nothing to rant about now. Man... life utterly sucks from boredom. But it says something about life, when you don't want this boredom to end.

Saturday, December 07, 2002

How many times must my Internet connection fail on me before I can make a post? Okay, I wrote a long rant about coffee, tea and water twice. And it was long. And it got lost, because my connection sucks. So I decide to summarise it here in three simple lines.

Coffee; strong, aromatic, good caffeine, but does not keep you awake, though you'd be a loser to give it up, right Ivan?

Tea; basically just scented water, smells nice, and boycott jasmine green tea, because there is no such thing as jasmine green tea, coz all Chinese tea has a burnt taste with no artificial colouring, flavouring or preservatives.

Water; rocks, unless it came from sewage and tastes metallic, and you'd be good if you can identify mineral water sources by its taste.

Friday, December 06, 2002

Well hmm... hotmail.com has failed to work. And life really sucks. Well off to Liquid tomorrow, hope it would be more fun there. Well am now experiencing life with no ICQ, no mIRC, no email, there's just blogger. Unless this fails to post. Which means if you are reading this, at least something on the Internet is working. And so life goes on without life.

Bernard if you are reading this, I am so damn bored! When are you getting your ass back here? Plan do something. Anything. Bum around.

Thursday, December 05, 2002

I have just republished all my old posts since the very beginning when it was first known as "In Order There Is Chaos".

Things have changed a lot since then. Got rid of the comments thing, renamed it, became a lot more crappy. But my first post was dated 5 August 2001. So its been way more than a year. It has been a long and memorable time. I didn't know I could persist with this much crap over the years, but I've continued to be inspired by those around me. But I've written so much crap! There was an article on MRT, etiquette, boybands, bimbos, divas, the Bible, letter to God, book eating, boarding, WTC, meaning of life, punctuation, Mariam Daskalopolou and a lot more.

Oh my favourite has got to be the Letter to God. Dated 29 November 2001.

But that's that for walking down memory lane. Its been a joy writing. It always has. It could have been more perfect, but I think I like it the way it is. I wish I could keep this up. But its been a good year, four months and two days. Memorable.

Just for everyone else's information, I am a staunch and unwavering non-Christian.

God, you there? Or am I hearing voices again? You don't exist.

Hmmm... thoughts in chaos.

Wednesday, December 04, 2002

St. Peter: God! God Almighty! The end is upon us! Its blasphemous! Its horrendous! Its the end of the world as we know it!

God: WHAT IS THE PROBLEM?

St. Peter: I know the voice thing impresses humans, but you don't have to do it with me and speak ALL IN CAPS. Its rude in Internet etiquette.

God: Of course, well sorry. What is the problem?

St. Peter: This is so completely wrong, its a disaster. Chaos will reign. Darkness will fall. The Beast will rise. And the world would be consumed in evil as the gates of hell would be thrown open and devour the world in its unsatiable hunger for human souls.

God: Stop the prophetic rambling and tell me the problem.

St. Peter: Its terrible... Harry Potter And The Chamber Of Secrets is been screened in cinemas everywhere.

God: And?

St. Peter: And? This is a massive problem. The world-wide premier has lead 20 million tickets sold within the first week of opening of the movie! And box office earnings total over $200 million. Total world population who have watched Harry Potter is now about 300 million and rising fast. That means that we have lost 300 million faithful followers to this... this... abomination!

God: How would we lose our flock this way?

St. Peter: Don't you see? Harry Potter is all about magic and witchcraft. People would read about all these demons and occult events, then it would appear in their imagination. Then they would start to believe in magic and witchcraft and no longer believe in you because they would believe that magic created the world, and that the moon is made of blue cheese. Then they would uphold these witchcraft teachings and join cults and covens, and denounce you and walk a path of evil and ignore your teachings. Then the world would become dark again with misleading teachings. The millions of souls would be ripe for the Devil's harvest.

God: But...

St. Peter: But what? Don't you see? J. K. Rowling is the devil in disguise. She wants to mislead these millions and take them away from you. She's a Satanist. Even though our faithful followers down there have denounced Harry Potter as evil, and organised a movement known as Anti-Harry Potter Organisation Of People (A-POOP) they need divine intervention.

God: See here...

St. Peter: The end is upon us if you don't do anything, God! People are being lead astray right under our eyes, and we must do something fast. The world is going to hell! Great evil is upon us in these blasphemous text. I beseech you to smite J. K. Rowling and burn all her books! Send them all to the fiery pits of hell before its too late.

God: Stop. You are saying here that those who read Harry Potter don't believe in me?

St. Peter: Exactly! I believe in you, God. That's why I never touch those blasphemous text.

God: This is interesting.

St. Peter: Why is this interesting, God?

God: Because I've read it, and I think its good.

Sunday, December 01, 2002

Whythehellismyspacebarstuck?!?!Goddamnit!