Flying sheep!! Beware of flying sheep!

Friday - Reports of flying sheep has been recieved from all over the world. Scientists are baffled to explain this bizarre phenomenon. About 7 pm EST yesterday, the first call of a flyng sheep was recieved from Singapore. Dismissed as a local prank, officials suddenly took note when similar reports started flooding in from other places such as Nicaragua, Rome and Rhode Island, America.

Many people claimed to have witnessed the flying sheep, and said that there were about twenty in the sky, flying together in a V shaped fork heading west. The sheep were "like normal sheep," in the words of Mrs. Edith Smunch, from Berlin, Germany, "with great leathery wings that stretched about twenty feet." Other eyewitness accounts gauge the wingspan of the sheep to be up to forty feet.

Dr. Edward Lange, a scientist renowned in the field of ufology, said that this was no doubt a hoax, a global prank pulled off on the largest scale by the largest number of consipators the world has ever seen. He has went through a lot of reported bizarre ufo sightings, and the photos of the flying sheep do not prove conclusively that there were flying sheep flying around the world. "The photos could have been faked, and until we have checked the negatives, there is no need to buy sweaters and jumpers before they all fly away," he asserted.

The global implications of flying sheep is that there is a new species of sheep being found and that this is the second known species of mammals to fly. An undiscovered species, people are now racing to name it, claiming to have saw it first. A flying sheep might bring in the possibility of a lightweight jumper that is buoyant and scientists are excited by the prospect of a lightweight natural fabric. However, this flying sheep also pose a problem to many of the worlds populated cities as they would now have to face a smellier problem than pigeon stoon.

Airforce are now tracking the flock of flying sheep, and we refuse to use the word "herd" as it is as yet ascertained by the authorities in English which is the proper collective noun. Scientists are trying to triangulate the origin of this flock and reveal more behind the mystery which may have been nothing more than a prank to pull the wool over the public's eye.

Just plain stupid

I saw an eager enthusiastic elephant named Lulu,
Danced down my street with great strides,
Carrying a purple umbrella, dressed in a pink tutu,
Rumbling the houses on both sides.

It was carrying a red watering can,
Filled with the sweetest lemonade you can drink,
Splashing some over me while I was getting a tan,
And that sort of explains why I still stink.

Off it leaped, off it hopped, off it pranced,
Leaving potholes the size of dinner tables,
Boy, I've never seen an elephant dance,
Except, only in fairy tales and fables.

And so this is my tale of a dancing elephant,
Trust me it did happen, I'm not lying out of habit,
I know its as crazy as a sky reaching bean plant,
So you might just say, this is just plain stupid.

Once upon a time, there was this little 8-year-old boy sitting alone in a sandpit in a deserted park. The sun was low on the horizon; it was about 5p.m. and there was not a soul in sight. He did not care, he was just engrossed with his little blue truck carrying sand from one end of the pit to another. Then he sat down, and with his hands, he started scooping up the sand and started shaping his castle. He worked slowly and meticulously. The moat had to be perfect, the castle walls high enough to keep out marauding invaders. The towers high enough to spot incoming enemies, and when the princess was locked in the tower, the brave knight in shining armor had to come rescue her from the evil fire-breathing dragon that was her guardian. And on rode the knight towards the moat, but wait! In his way was... was... a pair of yellow shoes?

"Hi."
"Hi." The boy stood up and dusted his pants to look at the newcomer. She was a little girl, around his age, with long pretty black hair and a large round face.
"Can I play too?" She asked.
"Okay." He said.

Together they sat down and played. When the knight came charging through the castle gates, he drew his mighty sword, slayed the dragon, and rescued the princess from the high tower. Then they got married, and then the princess wanted the knight to cook, clean and change the diapers of the baby while she went to the market to buy some meat and vegetables for tonight's dinner. The knight babysat the children, and told them stories and took them for walks while the princess cooked and cleaned the house and made sure that the entire family had clean clothes to wear. And soon it was night time, and the knight had to put the kids to bed but not before making sure they'd brush their teeth and telling them a bed time story. And then the knight kissed the princess good night as...

"Sally! Where is that girl? I swear she is going to be the death of me, running off like that. Sally!" a voice called from somewhere in the real world.
"Uh oh, that's my mom." the girl said. "I have to go."
"Okay. Bye bye." the boy replied.
"Bye bye." the girl said.
"Wait... can we be friends." The boy said hesitantly.
"I..." she thought for a moment, "Yes, friends."

She ran off towards the voice. The boy returned to his sandpit and his knight and his dragon and his castle. Someday, he would meet his princess again.

Now I remember what I was going to talk about. This post is a somewhat alternative response to a theory that love is not all that it is cut out to be and it is based on attraction to features and characteristics which would soon fade off forever.

Well, that is a rather crude theory that seems to go against the typical airy fairy concept of love which has always been put forward by all those poets in the past. I find it intriguing that people don't believe in the concept of forever love anymore, and the once "love conquers all" kind of mentality, and that "there is no greater power on Earth than love".

Anyway, yeah, I was thinking that love could be a game. This theory, I give credit to an idiot, who told me this. Hehe. Now he worries how badly I would twist his theory. Anyway, basically this entire love thing is a game. It is a game played by one person, which involves, more often than not, the unwilling participation of another person . So the basic objective of the game is to make the person "love" you. Somewhat a bizarre game, I admit, but this is one of those social games where people play since firstly they have nothing better to do with their lives, and also because they want to be "loved".

The game ends when the other person loves you, when the other person has sex with you, when the other person has that kind of devotion for you, so it is very interesting, as there are many other win conditions depending on the player and not just being restricted to being loved. And like all other games, there are rules. In this game of love, there are no rules. Yes, no rules. It is a basically no-holds-barred social game where everyone enters the fray, and then there is heavy competition from all sides ,and anyone can do anything as long as the game objective is achieved. Lie, cheat, steal, by hook or by crook, the only thing that matters is whether the objective is achieved. And some methods do make the objective null and void such as raping and forcefully imposing the players will on the other via mind control, but it is up to each and every player to decide which is the method for them, and how to get the other person to love the player.

And also like all games, there are many difficulties. Once chosen, there are no more chances to choose difficulties. These are the following difficulties.

In the Easy Mode setting, players are given supreme advantages like good, charming looks, with a red Ferrari, numerous platinum credit cards, suave and gentlemanly nature. They are also blessed with brains and are extremely attractive to their... err... objective.

Then in Not Too Easy Mode the player does not have the advantage of the Ferrari, but then all other perks are there.

Then in Normal Mode the player suffers from many handicaps like average looks, average income, average attitude, average brains and all that. Just plain and average.

In Hard Mode there are more handicaps, such as below average intelligence, below average looks, obnoxious nauseating attitude, and bad assed behaviour, even though they have the looks.

Now in Extreme Hard-Core Mode the players are utterly devoid of anything that is even remotely attractive to their objective. Everything is pitted against them, from devoid of looks, devoid of any wealth, devoid of any interesting character, nothing that makes them in anyway interesting. Sometimes nature throws in a twist by augmenting a few physical attributes here, or a few chance encounters, but other than that, in Extreme Hard-Core Mode the chances of a player actually fulfilling the objectives are close to nil.

There are many ways of playing the game. Typical ways are throwing enough money in the direction of the objective in hopes of winning the game, conning and cheating the objective, try to sweep the objective off their feet with gentlemanly or ladylike qualities and etc. Then there are other ways of playing the game such as the bad assed punk, or the elusive hard-to-get shadow. Then of course there are the screw ups who explore the game fully in inventing their own bizarre methods of playing the game, usually resulting in failure. But basically that is the crux of the game. Anyway, reviews of the game cannot be that bad. With over 6 billion people playing it worldwide, it has got to be the most successful game of all time.

Muahahah... YES YES!!! The world is mine!!! Muahahaha...

Damn, I had a good complaint in my head but now its all gone.