I know some of you have been wondering why I haven't posted in a week. The reason is because I'm busy taking over the world, and my plans have shifted to Phase II. There would be some major restructuring in the world governments soon. Slowly but surely, I would take over the world.

But seriously. I've been busy. Busy with what? I only have 2.5 hours of class each day from Monday to Friday, much to the annoyance of all my friends back in Singapore. Haha!! Muahaha... you miserable fools! I'm really enjoying it so much out here.

Never mind. Brief lapse of insanity.

Actually, I'm just running around trying to complete things, and I have essays to write, therefore I have another outlet for my "creative writing". So there's a lesser need to write crap on the Internet and contribute to the general crapdom out there. I'll try to post more often, and in case some of you were wondering, I was ripped off by www.computerhq.com. I'm kinda blatant about their bad name, because their bad name costs me USD100. They shipped me the wrong product, and they say that I shouldn't buy their product based on the product's name, description or picture, but rather on a 7-digit number. So the reason their website isn't linked is because I wouldn't want to recommend horrible disgusting stupid idiotic services. So my video card would arrive another day. Computer still down.

Yes I'm that pissed off with them. Too bad they live in California. Hope it breaks away and sinks.

Speaking of the cold, yesterday was the first day of autumn.

Anyway, nothing much can be said about life in New York at the moment. Now imagine a typical Hollywood-portrayed college scene. Now imagine the parties. Then imagine the social scene. Now imagine the chicks that walk around in skimpy clothing and fantasy sizes. Then imagine the cool weather. Imagine the fast and luxury cars in the parking lot. Imagine that everyone is very cool and smart. Imagine athletes around. Imagine cheerleaders... and their long legs and their perky... pom poms.

Now imagine all that, imagine a vibrant life, imagine where youth is celebrated and cherished. Imagine that. Imagine...

**We interrupt this program to bring you shortly back to reality. Now switch off your computer, forget everything you've just read and go outside and mow the lawn or clean your garage. This is a public service announcement.**

Freezing here. Dammit, it's not even autumn yet, and I am complaining of the cold. Trust me, it's now 3:40 Sunday morning, and I can't go to sleep because of the damn cold. Really, I kinda think that if I go to bed, I might not wake up. Like sleep on and on, because it's too damn cold to get up!

Okay, as cold as I feel, I seem to think that Americans in general are unable to feel the chill, and they are unable to feel any coldness whatsoever. Really none of the other people here seem to be taking the cold seriously other than me. Sure, some of them put on jackets, but it's like it's another normal day, whereas each day passes, my body experiences new depths of freezing temperature. So to my great disgust and frustration, I think my legs are freezing here!

I think I haven't been able to feel my toes for the past 2 hours. Oh wait, my lower legs too. Dammit. While I keep cursing over here, please, generously send a donation over to me. Donations can be in the form of:

1. Heat, lots of it.
2. Hot water
3. Sunshine
4. Winter clothing
5. Heat packs
6. Electric kettle
7. Hot babe to get into bed with
8. Hot towel
9. Electric blanket
10. Money

Yes, so yeah, here goes my cry out for help. If there is no post after Christmas, you can assume that I've frozen to death and that my body is currently being shipped back home where it would be thawed under the Malaysian sun. Damn, I miss it so much now.

My gripe for the week.

I like dogs. Okay, don't get me wrong here, anyone who knows me has never seen me be really affectionate to any dog. I don't go up to a dog and start scratching him on the head and decrease my IQ by 95% and start talking in incoherent words that you could have sworn sounded like, "Sup you scruffy ugly ball of fur" Neither to I go into this high pitched shriek of delight that goes, "OH MY GOD! That's so CUTE!" and the "cute" is long drawn like nails on a blackboard.

No, I like dogs, but I refrain from gushing in a torrent of emotion that makes me look like Goofy.

Thing is, I see many New Yorkers taking their dogs for a walk. Now the concept of taking dogs for a walk is very peculiar here in New York. While I always had the idea that when people take their dogs for a walk, they essentially walk with their dogs. However I have seen many instances when a New Yorker takes a dog for a walk, the New Yorker carries the dog while walking around the neighbourhood. They literally take a dog for a walk.

I'm amazed at this, honestly. I stare at times at well-dressed ladies in their Gucci and Prada, carrying this little ball of fluff that whines and whimpers but is clearly enjoying the walk. There was this instance, where I saw this lady taking this very stereotypical perfect speciment of a dog for a walk, and the dog didn't want to walk. Instead when the lady tugged the leash, it didn't budge. Then when the lady looked at it, the dog sat down and looked beggingly at the lady to be carried. I was amazed. The dog actually wanted to be taken for a walk. Literally.

New Yorkers and dogs are a wierd bunch. I've seen this really supersized lady walking this really starving thin dog for a walk. The lady had doughnuts around her figure, and I could have sworn the Olsen twins (No I have not seen them in NYU yet) looked fat in contrast to that dog. I could see it's ribs and it's stomach was actually sunken in and it looked like a skeleton with short fur wrapped around it. And it was a dog about my waist high, it was a white short furred dog. And I actually felt sad that it had to have such an owner.

Speaking of contrast, there have been such obvious contrast with dogs and their owners. I saw this dog with really short fur that it looked naked, and then it's owner was a hippy with hair reaching his waist. Amusing, yes, I must admit it was very amusing.

I think one of the worse things to do to a dog is dress it up to look stupid. I'm sorry Paris Hilton, but you shouldn't waste all that money dressing up your dog, but instead contribute it to my college fund. A dog is not a fashion accessory.

All in all, I don't see why New Yorkers must have dogs. If they really want dogs, go live in the suburbs, or in the rural areas. I felt very sad for many of the dogs, knowing that there is no place for them to run, trapped in the high buildings and tied to a leash all the time. I have never seen a happy dog to this day, except for that one who wanted to be carried by its owner. I have never seen a dog who is happy to meet people, glad to be out, enthusiastic and energetic. They all look subdued like stuffed automatons.

I guess I don't know much about being a dog, but think about it, the reason dogs are men's best friends are because they are more sensitive to the subtle clues that we project, and they can understand our feelings. So why can't we do the same for them?

I am getting caught up in things. Okay, I'm not as busy as I used to be, and surely not as busy as the guys back in Singapore. Muahaha, suffer puny mortals!

Never mind that.

Anyway, I am getting rather busy. Pretty much doing really crazy stuff. I haven't got a job yet, but then I would be, as soon as I get my Harvard degree in Mixology. Really guys, look it up in the Internet. Wait I might have the site here. Oh yeah, it's here. So when I get that course, I'm raking in the tips, owning the bar and hopefully shagging the chicks. Wait, that's so typically guy. So what if it is! Woohoo!

Okay, so seriously, I guess I'm starting to neglect my work a bit which explains the sudden rush of work I suddenly have to do. It's like sitting in my room doing nothing (actually I was doing math, but I don't have a math course this semester) when suddenly I realised it was Wednesday, and the next day I have writing classes and I need to submit in an essay. Then I got my ass off the bed, typed for about 2 hours, and churned out a pretty decent paper. Granted that the idea was on the back of my mind simmering in thoughts for the past 2 days, so it came out pretty easily, it was still an essay I had to do.

So far so good. I'm not gonna say that it's damn easy, because according to Murphy's Laws, the moment you say that, everything turns into a nightmare.

How are you guys out there? I haven't heard from some of you yet. So do email.

I need a computer soon. But to get a computer I need money. But to get money I need donations.

Icarus, work is for wussies! =)

There has to be a better way to earn money. Once I find out how, I won't have to work!

I have become a freeloader. Honestly man, I am a freeloader, in every sense of the word. Of course a freeloader is synonymous with the phrase poor college student, but a freeloader is still a freeloader.

Since I came here, I've been finding ways of trying to save money. Living abroad in a place with so high living standards, unless I can pull wads of cash out of my pocket every second and flash credit cards at a whim, I am going to go broke faster than you can say money.

So far, stuff I have freeloaded off includes things like an entire box of mineral water, a couple of burritos and books. Yeah, books, I've been borrowing books like there's no tomorrow. And I haven't bought my textbooks yet.

Tonight, or rather this evening, I did freeload an entire dinner. We (as in me and my roommate/partner in crime) were at a building, looking for some free food at a Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender meeting. Food was scarce and gone at the meeting, as we arrived late. Serious, we would do anything for a free meal, and this is one story that I would some day be telling my kids, "Your father was so poor he had to look for food at a gay club."

Anyway, yeah, now that I've lost my dignity by admitting I'm a freeloader and showed my face at a homosexual congregation, I'll continue with the story. Since there was no food left, we left, and when we arrived at the lobby, we saw a pizza guy carry in about 15 pizzas. Following our gut, noses and lack of conscience, we followed the pizzas to the meeting for Americans for Informed Democracy on a different floor. We posed as interested students who forgot our tickets to the event, entered first, had first dibs on the pizza, drank some soda and sat down and enjoyed the atmosphere. Just as the forum/meeting was about to start, we scooted with our appetite satiated.

Honestly though, I wonder how low I would ever have to stoop just to save a buck.

Food in New York. Someone asked me about food in New York, so I guess I might as well do a post on food in New York.

C'mon, man, serious, New York is the capital of the world, if there ever was a city worthy of that title. With 18 million people and 2 million immigrants, this has to be the capital of the world. You can find all kinds of food all over the place, from good ol' home Malaysian food, to the more exotic food from Africa. You just have to know where to look, or buy a book on places to dine in New York.

But then note in mind, I am a poor college student. Repeat: I am a poor college student. Therefore my food budget is very restricted to what I can get for under USD5. Which is the cheapest stuff I could every find around. A hotdog costs USD1.50 and you gotta look for the right places.

Anyway, I guess the best things are free, and my roommate and I got a whole stack of free burrito coupons which would last for quite a while. And then if we go for the club meetings, there'll be free food. So food is safely, cheaply and freely provided for somewhat in the first month. We gotta try survive on the tight budget, otherwise we gotta go to Atlantic City or Vegas to make a living.

Staple food around here is pizzas though. For USD10, we can get a large pizza, 8 slices, enough for 4 people. And staple drinks around here? I drink mineral water, but I think that most people drink beer around here. Even on the pizza box, they say they deliver pizza and beer. But thing is, you gotta be 21 to drink.

So when I'm 21 this coming Jan, I guess everyone on my floor would suddenly become my best friend.

A New Yorker is a very strange entity. There are about 20 million New Yorkers which makes an impressive minority in today's world. The environment that they live in is a very interesting one, where the streets are ordered in a similar fashion in which you can find in any city in SimCity 3000. Most of the cars that go around are the yellow taxi cabs which are usually driven immigrants who can only speak a smidgen of English. These yellow taxi cabs are notorious for their driving skills, or lackthereof. They speed, cut from both sides of the lane, honk unnecessarily and take loads of risk.

However, the streets of New York aren't ruled by these yellow terrors. Instead they are dominated by pedestrians, or better known as jaywalkers. Since there are so many streets in New York, in the orderly boxed fashion, a New Yorker has to cross many streets just to go grab a cup of coffee or walk a dog. And it make sense to walk instead of driving a car because, in the words of a New Yorker, "You have to spend 2 hours looking for a parking space or pay a testicle". And so, the streets are often filled with jaywalkers who cross streets regardless of the traffic light. And sometimes they ignore the traffic lights and walk as a streaming crowd which blocks the incoming traffic much to the annoyance of many drivers.

It is easy to pose as a New Yorker, one just has to cross the streets whenever one feels like it. However the true New Yorker does it with such precise finesse that they never hurry or quicken their pace even though the mad legendary yellow taxi is zooming towards them and honking.

But the savvy New Yorker owns a bicycle. Because it's the fastest way to get around, and cyclists truly own the streets of New York. They run down jaywalkers, ignore the traffic lights and turn and swerve through the nauseating traffic of cars. They get to where they want to go at a fast pace and they have little regard for anyone or anything in their paths. Their skill is unparalleled as they somehow stare death in the face at every busy intersection and avoid being a hit-and-run cyclists on the sidewalks. And at the end of the day, they hang up their helmets, without feelings or emotions, because they know, they are going to cycle to work again, through hell and back.

Yesterday, i went to a Broadway show. It's one of the free things, offered to me by my university who is trying to impress upon me New York's way of life, and I kinda appreciate getting a free $45 ticket. So there I was, sitting in the crappiest of all seats at the upper level, far back and on the side, waiting for the movie to start, when suddenly a commotion broke out in front and everyone surged forward.

What the hell? I thought, and I thought I could sneak up front and get better seats, if that's what everyone else was doing. So I got up, along with a whole bunch of NYU students, and someone just told me, George Bush Senior just entered the theatre. Really? Damn really. Okay, so I couldn't give a rats ass as whether he was in the same theatre as me, and he didn't come up to shake my hand, so I just got back to my seat. That probably explained why they were tight on the security and checked everyone's bag for concealed weapons or explosives.

Anyway, the play went on without trouble, no one threw anything at the former president. So there was this one point in the play, the play title was Hairspray, where the lead actress was thrown into jail without bail for protesting and leading a march, while her rival in a Miss Hairspray 1962 contest got away because her mother knew the governor and had some polaroid shots in her safe. Then the lead actress turned around to the audience and said.

"Manipulating the judicial system to win a contest is so... un-American!"

Needless to say, I'm in New York, a Democrat state, the crowd went wild.

They clapped and clapped, and cheered and whistle for a few minutes. I wonder how George Bush Senior must have felt.