First and foremost, I guess I must introduce how this story came about. I was talking to (name eliminated due to concealment of identity by request), and we were on a certain subject of what people ask each other after having not met for a long time. He was saying that people ask the same usual things, "Are you married?" and "What are you working as?" I told him that in 5 years time, people would be asking him "Are you married?" on a daily basis, and then upon learning that he is single, old mothers would set up blind dates for him. And furthermore, overseas students are seen as even more prospective son-in-laws.
His reaction was the proverbial "F*CK!" He realised that the blind date thing was more than a terrifying possibility; it was an eventuality. So he figured he needed to lie about having a girlfriend. He asked me to give him a name, and I suggested Jane. I asked him where did he meet Jane, and he said he met her in a math lecture. Me, for all my propensity and bullsh*t, baulked at the terrible story he came up with. So I offered to conjure up a more plausible and romantic version for him. Of course I didn't mention that I'd make it cheesy. But then again, he should have known that after knowing me for a long time. Note: This story is long.
And finally, I would like to dedicate this to my friend who has provided inspiration and circumstance for writing this story, and also to another friend whom which I owe a story to. By the way, do you guys really want to know who this person is? So without further crap, here goes:
Tomorrow, you'd show up at the Esplanade. You'll watch a free show on the bay in the evening, standing at the back of the crowd, clearly sneering at the plebians unable to distinguish between jazz, blues and pop. And soon, the performance ended and the crowd parted. You were sure if you stood in the crowd any longer, you'd rip apart people like a bloodthirsty werewolf.
And amidst the crowd, you see a girl dressed in jeans and a white T-shirt with black words, "So Sue Me!" look at you and smile. And you look away hurriedly, thinking she couldn't be looking at you. And you look up again, and she was there, still smiling, walking towards you.
A horror movie flashes through your head. She's a ghost, a vampire, a drug junkie fast approaching you. Run! Run! Your mind screams. No! You're hallucinating! Another voice shouts. You feel your palms sweati9ng, and before your body could react, you heard her say:
"You're in NUS arts fac right?"
Dammit! You think. The world has psychic powers except you. You would begin wearing that tin foil hat in the movie Signs.
You try to imagine the sentence "YES I'M FROM NUS ARTS FAC!" in your head, trying to test her psychic powers. There is a long awkward pause in between you too, and perhaps this is one of those cheesy movie moments, where the world ceased to exist around you and this girl.
She looks at you for an answer, then finally says, "I guess you don't talk much, if you talk at all. After all you don't speak up in lecture."
Finally, you decided she wasn't a figment of your imagination, and you say, "Yeah. How did you know?"
She laughs, and says, "Don't you remember? I'm from your math lecture!"
You frantically search your memory for some sort of image of her, but nothing comes to mind. You don't even know what the professor looks like; that's how little you attend lectures. You finally shrug and say, "I don't really remember... I am the first one out of the LT usually."
And she laughs again, and says, "That's how I remember you."
You blush! You could actually show some sort of embarassment, contrary from your typical indifference. Perhaps somehow people notice you more than you think. You looked surprised and resolve never to be the first one out of the lecture theatre ever again. Of course then you'd forget about it, because you're in a rush for lunch.
She sticks out her hand, and introduces herself, "I'm Jane." You stare at the gesture of openness with some sort of suspicion and tentatively shook her hand lightly. "(name again explicitly deleted)" you mutter kinda softly.
"(name) is it?" She smiles at you again, "I guess I'll see you around in Math lecture sometime. See you." And you just said goodbye. And she turns around and walks off, leaving you wondering whether that did just happen, or did Jason just orchestrate the biggest possible prank on the planet?
But you push it out of your head, it doesn't matter. There's no way you'd see her again. You think to yourself, though she isn't your typical hot babe, she has some sort of charm around her. But what are you thinking? After all love is chickensh*t which tastes like chocolate.
Though you soon forgot about it, and Monday came.
People were still coming into lecture, and suddenly, while you were about to doze off, you hear a vaguely familiar voice, "Is anyone sitting here?" And while you lifted your head off the table to look up, someone has already sat down beside you.
While you were grasping for some words to say besides the typical "Hi" in shock of the moment, because you felt somewhat obliged to say something, a girl carrying the largest teddy bear and a whole bunch of pink, red and white balloons and a huge bouquet of roses walked into the lecture hall.
She says "F*ck!" under her breath and says, "I so hate Valentine's Day. It sucks."
And perhaps, you are amazed, surprised and shocked even that someone would agree with your exact sentiments as the girl sat a few rows in front of you, the dangling balloons blocking your view of the professor and board in front.
Jane speaks aloud to the person in front, "Could you be more considerate when you shove your tokens of endearments in other people's faces?"
And you suddenly acquired new-found respect for Jane and her forthright bitchiness. As the girl in front apologises and puts her balloons in some unobtrusive corner of the lecture theatre, Jane mutters, "Ah lian!" under her breath.
All this time, you remain somewhat awestruck her "f*ck-you-coz-you-got-flowers" attitude, and felt perhaps you are not alone in feeling that Valentine's Day is a purely commercial event.
She turns to you and says, "I really hate Valentine's Day. Bloody waste of money and good flowers. What's the point of giving so many roses which are just going to be thrown away at the end of the day?"
And here in your mind, you recall a certain fact that Jason told you on Sunday morning, that about 50 million roses are cut and sold just for Valentine's Day around the world, though you ignored it.
Before you can assent your opinion or anything, she continues, "It's all fake. Even real roses are fake. It doesn't mean anything that ah lian might take it to mean."
But before she could continue bitching about Valentine's Day, the professor walks in, and she fell silent, not bothering you at all once throughout the lecture.
To be continued
