I just ran my blog though a Fiesh-Kincaid test just to test the reading level of my blog. Apparently, my blog was ranked pretty low, about as readable as TV guides and *gasp*(!!) the Bible. Yeah... figures. Seems my writing isn't so deep after all. But what's the point of being grandiloquent when all that is said is my usual "verbiagic" nonsense?

Oh yeah, one needs about nine years of education to be able to understand the words I type.

But I profess a bit of indignance when I present such poor results of my blog, I would at least like to appear slightly intellectual over certain (in)famous Singaporean blogs. However, I feel that the test was flawed because firstly, all that mattered was the length of the sentence and secondly the number of multi-syllabic words. So I suppose if I type a sentence like, "The perfunctory enunciation of this highfalutin articulation expoused with the benefaction of a thesaurus vocalise bagatelle" then the reading difficulty of my blog would increase. However, I've just said nothing but bullsh*t, so yeah, perhaps the difficulty of a reading should not be measured by the countable but rather the uncountable and we can dismiss my pathetic rating (c'mon! TV guides! That's low! I hate tv guides!) as a victim of the need by Americans (Yes! This dumb rating could only come from there!) to determine whether a book is too difficult for them to read.

Hmm... I thought I'd never see this car number plate: WMD404

Wow, I am impressed. My broadband connection is so inferiorly pathetic that my dial-up is able to let me finish my download faster than my broadband connection. Yay Streamyx! May your service be as pathetic as ever.

I hate shopping for underwear; it makes me feel woefully inadequate.

It's just something about comparisons. Men just can't help it, I suppose. It has always been that way, the bigger house, the faster car, the larger paycheck and the Stepford wife. Something about the comparative and superlative, just like the Olympics motto, "Faster, Higher, Stronger" that just brings about the juxtaposition of two men to see which is the better.

I find it almost intriguing that we subconsciously establish a pecking order, a personal hierarchy, a ranking for everyone who came in contact with. Maybe this is the sort of arrogance that creeps into my head sometimes, and perhaps gets me into trouble more often than not. But perhaps, I'm not the only one who instantly reacts to a juxtaposition of selves. My sister met her old classmate she hasn't seen in years at Carrefore with her boyfriend. My sister's instinctive reaction was that she wanted to walk by them again to see whether her boyfriend was cute or not. Instinctively I teased her that she was just trying to compare whose boyfriend was better.

It was a thing that we just do; we compare. We size up each other, walk around in circles in a great stare-off, check out each others strengths and weaknesses, clash spirits, and finally establish a superior and an inferior. Then we shake hands and exchange pleasantries as society has dictated. Then life goes on.

Have you often felt overworked, underappreciated and stressed from too much worrying?

Have you often suffered from lack of enjoyment in your life having to cope with increasing responsibilities and expectations?

Have you often wished you were on a vacation far away from the hassles of everyday life?

Have you often suffered from anxiety attacks before the onset of a major event?

Then look no further! Coz we got just the thing for you! It's new, it's safe, it's revolutionising and it will change the world since Prozac! It's our new wonder drug, APATHY!

Scientists and doctors have been collaborating for years to discover more about the human brain, especially which areas of the brain is devoted to work and study. In the course of their research at our billion-dollar research facility, they have not only isolated areas of the brain which produce the most neuron-activity while under stress from worry and anxiety, but they have also identified the protein, named APA433 which causes these functions in the brain. With further research and studies done by distinguished Professor Herbert Johnston, he has discovered an enzyme LAZY404 which binds to this protein receptors hence preventing this area of the brain from overstimulation resulting in various psychological problems you see today including obsessive compulsive disorder and schizophrenia and even everyday migraines.

It has been discovered that more than a hundred million people worldwide suffer from an inability to naturally produce this enzyme LAZY404 in their own bodies, which causes them to unnecessarily worry and aggravating various pre-existing psychological conditions. Furthermore, since it is produced naturally within the body, this enzyme is safe for human consumption and has been approved by the FDA and EU already, and is shipping to your nearby pharmacy as you read this. This drug, which is just like Prozac, brings a feeling of euphoria by eliminating the useless hassle of worrying about everyday life. It's just like a lobotomy, only safer.

And you only have to thank us for delivering such a wonderful product to the market.

When you're feeling stressed, just reach for a pill. Reach for Apathy.

Now we have some statements from various users who attest to the effectiveness of Apathy:

"I use to be overworked and underpaid at my job. My boss would give me impossible deadlines which is tearing my career, my family and myself apart. Now that I've taken Apathy, I'm out of a job, but at least I'm spending more time with my family." - Jefferson

"My doctor was telling me I was going to kill myself with all the work someday. I am an energetic, driven and ambitious man, and I am always on my cellphone 24/7. Because of all the hardwork and pace I've driven myself, I came down with a stroke six months ago. My doctor told me to ease up on the workload, but I just couldn't do it, so he prescribed Apathy. It has done wonders for me, now that I'm actually able to enjoy a golf game." - Richard

"My kids were driving me crazy. Tim's going to college, Sean was shutting himself his room all the time and Tina was going through this phase where she's constantly bugging me about boys. Now that I've taken Apathy for two months, I find myself being able to sleep at night even though Tim dropped out of college, Sean was arrested for drug possession and Tina hasn't come back in days. Thank you Apathy for giving my life back." - Mona

"I use to suffer from anxiety attacks when my husband comes back smelling of cheap perfume or when he has to go for long business trips. Since I've started taking Apathy, I call his best friend over everytime he goes to Atlanta." - Shawna

So it's not too late to do something about your life right now, get Apathy! Remember Apathy, it's like a lobotomy, only safer.

Disclaimer: Use of Apathy may lead to allergic reactions including rash, sneezing, difficulty breating, bloating, swelling, dizziness, drowsiness, nausea, excessive euphoria, impaired judgment, misperception, paralysis of limbs, severe headaches and death. Should any of the above symptoms occur, immediately discontinue use and alert your local physician and sign the enclosed statement granting immunity against any legal action you might pursue and mail it straight to our legal department.

Apathy, it's like a lobotomy, only safer.

I suppose this would be a long post.

The song of the moment is by Foo Fighters - Best of You. It is perhaps their genre, where they shout and scream into the microphone lyrics which are almost nonsensical, but somehow the style is apt for the song. It's kinda like losing control, and wanting to scream your brains out, because you are just plain losing it.

Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you
Has someone taken your faith, it's real, the pain you feel
You trust, you must confess
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you

Yeah, it does resonate with the inner turmoil of the heart which just makes me want to scream out loud, "WHAT THE IS GOING ON?" And the song becomes somewhat of an outlet of angst, frustration and confusion. And besides that I really like rock songs.

Which brings me to an interesting conversation I had with a friend a while ago, when he introduced to me a couple of songs, Moonchild and Nymphatemine Fix or something along the lines. Yeah, those songs remind me of Enya, and I think those songs come across as soft and wussy. Yeah, bring on the hard stuff!!! And upon hearing my distaste for such songs, my friend decided to make his point that (note: generalisation here) chicks like these kind of songs, nothing loud with drums banging and screaming and shouting into the microphone like a nutcase.

Hmm... so I got to pretend that I like softcore pop songs which are somehow suppose to help me get in touch with my feminine side so that I can meet chicks better? Though I find it believable that chicks would have decent knowledge about the latest of Britney Spears over some obscure indie band, even feigning interest in something that doesn't even interest me comes very close to being repulsive to my inherent nature. After all, a chick won't fall for you just because of your cool CD collection right?

But then again, what does a chick like in a guy? Strangely enough, the answer was sitting right there in my junk e-mail folder among the spam I got. Or rather, the anti-answer to my question, as the e-mail was aptly titled "The 10 Mistakes Most Men Make With Women." Though liking hardcore rock-and-roll with full drums banging wasn't on the list, neither is listening to vagina rock (yes, it's a genre, I shall not go to lengths to explain, but no guy should be listening to anything of this kind.) So a brief look at the list doesn't confirm, nor negate any stereotypes but rather it is a sales pitch to buy the guy's book on how to date anyone, which explains Mistake Number 10, "Not Getting Help" which should be solved "buy" (forgive the awful pun) purchasing this dude's guide to dating women.

This piece of "junk" e-mail, which I recieved, also made an assertion that women don't like a guy for his money or looks, generally. So based on that statement, I should have about equal chances with Brad Pitt when it comes to women. Of course the author went on to mention things like a woman likes a man for his personality, and the last I checked, I really did have a personality which is one up a lot of college quarterbacks with head cheerleaders as girlfriends.

I think I shall retreat to my thoughts on music. After all, all that screaming, headbanging and thumping bass is a lot more ordered and sensible than the world of dating. And besides, trying to guess the music genre which is most popular with chicks is kinda like calling everything a spade. It's overgeneralising at best, and pointless at worst. So I suppose leave me to my "pathetic" tastes in music, and I hope you find a chick who likes the same music as you do. Long Live Foo Fighters!

: Executing Matrix v2.0
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: Username: RavenHawk
: Password: *********
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Hiatus.