The Scripted World

All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:

Jaques, scene vii, Shakespeare

Human relationships are a funny thing. Seriously, yeah, funny haha, rather than funny weird. When I walk into the bookstore, there's invariably a whole entire section devoted to the human relationship. How to interact among people, how to manage people, how to understand people, how to get a date, how to impress a date, how to bring home a date, how to date a date, how to ask for a second date, how to succeed in a date, how to date a successful man, how to date a successful woman, how to date a successful date, how to date without dating, how to date and not date, how to find love in dating, how to find dates in loving and a lot of whole bizarre books that tout pretty much the same basic truths in human relationships; it's about confidence.

But I am struck by this one scene in the movie School for Scoundrels: Dr. P: How many of you have self-help books? Okay that's your first problem. You can't help yourself, because your self sucks!

But that's not entirely what I'm getting at. Because at the end of the day, a successful relationship is like a waltz. Human relationships are about dancing, and I'm partial to the waltz, so I like to describe a harmonious human relationship as a beautiful waltz.

One, two, three. One, two, three. Step, step, step. Spin, twirl, turn. One, two, three. One, two, three.

You see, we got to follow certain pre-arranged steps in order to get along well with others. And it's much less about what we say, but rather what we are going to say. People don't really care about your ideas, but they like you pretty much all the same if you say the right things. A friend put it rather aptly on his blog, that invariably the correct answer to any Miss Universe question would be, "World Peace." and that the invariable correct answer to any soldier would be, "Because I love my country, sir!" and "Yes, sir!" professed with gusto and full of passion, albeit badly disguised.

One thing I've learnt by going through job interviews is that no one gives a shit what you say, or how you feel about the job. The interviewer never fails to ask you the same cliched questions, and he knows that those questions are cliched. You, in turn, know those cliched questions and must always respond with cliched answers. See? This is like the waltz, the interviewer leads the dance, and one, two, step. One, two, step. And if you don't follow, well, let's just say the music doesn't last forever.

A typical dance routine goes like this:

Interviewer: Do you love this job?
Me: I love this job more than my mother.
Interviewer: How do you feel about finance?
Me: It flows in my blood.
Interviewer: Are you a team player?
Me: Hell yes, I love sports

Answers like, "Everyone has a mortgage to pay." and "For the money, of course." doesn't quite cut it, even though it's so chillingly true. No brilliant smart alec answer will cut it, no outstanding matter-of-fact statement will cut it, only the most pretentious of all altruisms will get you where you want to be. It's all about the dance. You must dance to the rhythm... even though you feel the strings tied to your arms and legs and the crowd screams, "DANCE PUPPET DANCE!" And pretty much, that is what is needed to succeed in a job interview.

To extrapolate a little into other more personal human relationships, the dance becomes even more important, and all the more scripted. The closer we are to people, the more we stick to this awkward dance routine, that seems old and stale. How many conversations have we started with:

Dude: Yo, wassup?
Me: Nuthin', how about you?
Dude: The usual.
Me: Oh.

Why is it important to keep in rhythm to these dance steps? Because that's how we know each other, it's like some sort of secret club handshake, or some bizarre routine only known by insiders. It's a secret code that identifies ourselves, and when we get closer to people, the traditions and norms sometimes become even more outrageous, to foster a better sense of closeness. This is the sort of fundamental that all secret societies are based on, and this includes all sorts of fraternities and sororities.

It's interesting to look back at some of my message logs and notice how all my conversations start with the same sort of routine way. To those people I know, I start off with a few vulgarities, name-calling, plus things that I wouldn't say in front of a lady. And they respond in kind. See? This is also part of the dance routine. When two jocks high-five each other, and buttslaps each other and chugs beer and burps, that's pretty much too part of the dance, to get closer to each other, by mimicking each other's steps, and forming human relationships.
I guess what I'm really talking about is kinda closely related to culture of a people. It's the kind of social norms that I say, that sort of cement a kind of close personal relationship with another person at the expense of a little truth.

Maybe if we look at a couple's relationship, it goes even further:

Chick: Do you love me?
Dude: Of course.
Chick: Then say that you love me.
Dude: C'mon now...
Chick: Please?
Dude: Okay... I love... you...

Have you ever gotten into a situation where you asked someone a question, and you know they are going to lie to you, but you accept the lie anyway, because you don't want to ruin the relationship? That's pretty much like in the waltz... if your partner steps on your toes, you just shrug it off and continue dancing, because you want the dance to continue. Take for example:

Chick: Were you looking at that whore?
Dude: What whore?
Chick: Your eyes were practically all over her ass.
Dude: You know I only have eyes for you.
Chick: Yeah right.
Dude: C'mon baby, I love... you...

It's a kind of waltz, of tip-toeing around each other. We must each know the right things to say, and the right things aren't necessary the truthful thing to say. I think relationships aren't based on truths, but based on expectations, and the most successful relationships are those with little expectations. After all, if you don't expect your girlfriend to be loyal to you, your girlfriend to care for you when you're sick, or your girlfriend to at least call you once in a while, then you're fine with her being your girlfriend, and no broken relationship there, then, no matter what she does. And the thing is people expect you to do the dance. You must dance, because that is what is said in the script. People know the script, they know your response, they just like to hear you follow the script, because at least they know you are on the same page as them. Then, at least, the show can go on.

The show must go on.

Empowerment of the Masses

Of all the people in the world, I find that it is only the Americans who reject what we term as "general truth". Take for example the issue on global warming. It's not something dumbed down like "climate change", but global warming, because the world is getting warmer. Quit climate changing the topic. But Americans are so skeptical about the whole thing about global warming. I've talked to smart college students who are still arguing that global warming does not exist. And I'm wondering why, with overwhelming evidence, and a generally supportive science body, that Americans refuse to accept this is happening.

Another issue which most of the world has no problem accepting is the view of evolution. Evolution may as well be the gospel truth. It sort of makes sense, with sufficient hindsight, it explains things, and it sort of gives a general idea of the study of living things. The only problem with evolution is that it takes God out of the picture. Isn't that what science has been doing all this while: explaining real physical phenomena without the superstition? So why is it that Americans take so much offense that evolution is taught? They might as well hate all sorts of scientific explanation, because there's no god factor in them.

Finally, a thing I would like to bring up is that it is only in America, that drugs, with their fancy names like Zoloft, Zanpax, Lunestra and Cialis are marketed directly to the consumer. You see enough advertistments out there, telling people to go ahead, "If you think you're suffering from a disease, you probably are, and if you take our drug, you'd be happy and chicks will flock to you." Yes... these advertistments usually contain images of healthy happy couples holding hands together, implying that drugs help a relationship. Then with a jarring jolt to reality, they are required by law to list possible side-effects, but doesn't matter, the soothing voice continues, telling you your problems can be solved with just a pill.

To me, these three things are the result of what's wrong with Americans. I feel somehow that they believe that they are very intelligent people, and they view any sort of knowledge that comes from a source beyond them, professionals like scientists and doctors, with deep suspicion. Knowledge such as global warming, evolution and prescriptions are specialised forms of knowledge, only possibly discovered by scientists and doctors who have been in the field a long time, and have done many studies on it. A layman could not possibly "discover" global warming, nor evolution. Which poses a great challenge to many Americans to accept these truths.

Americans dislike being told what to think. This comes after a long history of self-empowerment and conviction that they are pretty much the best thing to walk the world. Number one country in the world? America. Number one holder of patents in the world? America. Most patriotic country in the world? America. Go Team America, go!

But then they come to the conclusion that the only truth they believe in, is those truths that they can ascertain by themselves. Forget the common practice of quoting junk science and rogue scientists and even the Christian Science Monitor. Despite whatever you think, the tomb of Jesus is another hoax. Americans, for some reason, have a big distrust of institutionalised knowledge. They are only inclined to believe in themselves, which leads to sometimes a misguided sense of the way things work in the world.

It's kinda like back when men first discovered fire, and knew thunder, lightning and wind, and without the rigorous demands of science, they are lead to invent their own simplified superstitious explanations of how things work.

The Truth Is Out There?

I Want To Believe?

When your theories break down, and you have no more explanations, the only thing you can do is blame everything on a conspiracy. Global warming is a conspiracy by the environmentalists. Evolution is a conspiracy by the ultra-godless-liberals. Doctors don't want to treat you with the best drugs, so that they can profit. Yeah, it's the institutions who try to cover things up, the FBI, NSA, CIA, whatever other three letter organization who could possibly have nothing better to do, than to kidnap, brainwash and anal probe you. Yes. You people.

You people who think you're so smart that you can just figure things out on your own. That everyone else is out to get you. That you live in a web of lies. A single individual is empowered today by technology and science. The individual has access to knowledge beyond the greatest libraries in the world. He can do things, discover truths and find out new knowledge. However, you people have turned inwards, your own empowerment used to propogate your own misguided "truths" instead of finding out real truths for yourself. With great power comes great responsibility. But instead, you chose to wallow in ignorance. Pfft.

Oh yeah, did I also mention? America has the most conspiracy theories in the world.