Dating Rules: Updated
Women are fickle creatures.
And before I get run over by angry feminists, let me state that again.
Women are fickle creatures.
I had the pleasure of knowing a woman who is a colleague of mine, and we became close friends. During the course of our friendship, one of the things that she has espoused upon me was how quickly she has judged me based on my first conversation with another colleague at work. She was just a silent participant in that conversation, but oh how quickly she formed an opinion of me.
For it was not my idea to talk of computer games or Japanese anime, I just went which ever direction the conversation took me. After all I was new to the company then. But within that short lunch break, I was already termed a geek and consigned to the hell of platonic friendship. Not that I have any deigns on this woman, mind you, she's a sadist by nature and an artful mis-directionist, if there ever were such a thing.
So it was during her birthday, which we celebrated with a good round of drinks, and talked about things. And by things, I mean namely her, because it was her birthday. So when we got around to the question of what kind of boyfriend she was looking for, she was rather adamant about not dating a guy with "uber-micro" (geek talk for really awesome computer gaming skills).
I was pretty sure she wasn't referring to anyone in particular, especially the geekiest guy on the table (he doesn't mind the title and among his geek credentials was that he took a day off after the latest World of Warcraft expansion came out just to play it). Therefore, it should come as no surprise to everyone that's exactly who she ended up dating right now.
I'm remarkably amused by the whole outcome here. While I do enjoy reminding her of the latest status of her boyfriend's geekhood, it just struck me as whatever women say that they're looking for in a guy, I just don't buy it wholesale. I know other people complain about how girls go for the biggest douchebags or the baddest jerks, even though these guys are completely the opposite of the kind of people you'd bring home to meet your parents. But to me, it just seems difficult to practice what you preach, especially for women.
Maybe it is to my detriment that women are like that. (Yes, I'm generalizing.) But I have been recently struck with a thought that what women want and what women need are completely two different types of men.
Okay, what brought about this blog post from me? I was reading columns the other day and stumbled upon this bizarre op-ed about new and modern views on sex. Apparently, there is a new dating model out there right now. The definition of "sex" has been fudged since Bill Clinton had daringly announced on national television, the immortal words, "Oral sex is not adultery".
It just seems that we're living in a society where third base is pretty much the same thing as a kiss at the end of a date. Everything else is fair game, and there need not be any sort of emotional attachment for acts which we traditionally view as sex.
So I'm in a rather confused state over what's going to happen next. Next time I meet a friend of the opposite sex, I'd be there wondering, "Okay, how do I greet her now? Do I hug her, kiss her or blow her?" Because the dating model right now is hooking up, have a few rounds of casual sex or one-night stands with someone you know and if something emotional comes out from that, then maybe consider going on a date.
If that's all the more confuzzling, try wrapping your heads around this one:
Riiiiiiight...
"Hold on, honey. I'll just screw the mailman right here before you take me out on a romantic candlelight date where all we do is hold hands while you get a bad case of blue balls because I am committed to you."
I'm still trying to understand that, but I think I have a better shot at unraveling the mysteries of the physical universe. But you know something? Such reasoning could only come from a woman.
And before I get run over by angry feminists, let me state that again.
Women are fickle creatures.
I had the pleasure of knowing a woman who is a colleague of mine, and we became close friends. During the course of our friendship, one of the things that she has espoused upon me was how quickly she has judged me based on my first conversation with another colleague at work. She was just a silent participant in that conversation, but oh how quickly she formed an opinion of me.
For it was not my idea to talk of computer games or Japanese anime, I just went which ever direction the conversation took me. After all I was new to the company then. But within that short lunch break, I was already termed a geek and consigned to the hell of platonic friendship. Not that I have any deigns on this woman, mind you, she's a sadist by nature and an artful mis-directionist, if there ever were such a thing.
So it was during her birthday, which we celebrated with a good round of drinks, and talked about things. And by things, I mean namely her, because it was her birthday. So when we got around to the question of what kind of boyfriend she was looking for, she was rather adamant about not dating a guy with "uber-micro" (geek talk for really awesome computer gaming skills).
I was pretty sure she wasn't referring to anyone in particular, especially the geekiest guy on the table (he doesn't mind the title and among his geek credentials was that he took a day off after the latest World of Warcraft expansion came out just to play it). Therefore, it should come as no surprise to everyone that's exactly who she ended up dating right now.
I'm remarkably amused by the whole outcome here. While I do enjoy reminding her of the latest status of her boyfriend's geekhood, it just struck me as whatever women say that they're looking for in a guy, I just don't buy it wholesale. I know other people complain about how girls go for the biggest douchebags or the baddest jerks, even though these guys are completely the opposite of the kind of people you'd bring home to meet your parents. But to me, it just seems difficult to practice what you preach, especially for women.
Maybe it is to my detriment that women are like that. (Yes, I'm generalizing.) But I have been recently struck with a thought that what women want and what women need are completely two different types of men.
Okay, what brought about this blog post from me? I was reading columns the other day and stumbled upon this bizarre op-ed about new and modern views on sex. Apparently, there is a new dating model out there right now. The definition of "sex" has been fudged since Bill Clinton had daringly announced on national television, the immortal words, "Oral sex is not adultery".
It just seems that we're living in a society where third base is pretty much the same thing as a kiss at the end of a date. Everything else is fair game, and there need not be any sort of emotional attachment for acts which we traditionally view as sex.
So I'm in a rather confused state over what's going to happen next. Next time I meet a friend of the opposite sex, I'd be there wondering, "Okay, how do I greet her now? Do I hug her, kiss her or blow her?" Because the dating model right now is hooking up, have a few rounds of casual sex or one-night stands with someone you know and if something emotional comes out from that, then maybe consider going on a date.
If that's all the more confuzzling, try wrapping your heads around this one:
They [Women in their thirties and forties] will do everything but intercourse. That to them is far more intimate and more of a commitment.
Riiiiiiight...
"Hold on, honey. I'll just screw the mailman right here before you take me out on a romantic candlelight date where all we do is hold hands while you get a bad case of blue balls because I am committed to you."
I'm still trying to understand that, but I think I have a better shot at unraveling the mysteries of the physical universe. But you know something? Such reasoning could only come from a woman.
